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Before Taking Over the Controls

Janet Kuypers, 12/29/09

One of the times I went to D.C.,
I was taking a friend there to see the town
because this 5' 6" woman
was about to go into surgery
to remove a cyst in on of her ovaries
the size of a softball

well, a friend was driving us to o’hare airport
but before we got on the road
I picked up a small Domino’s pizza
and as we started driving along the kennedy,
we agreed that the best bite in any slice of pizza
is always that center point bite
so we agreed then and there
to eat the center bites
of all of the triangles of pizza
before we went on to eat more pizza
before our flight

and you know,
another time I was flying to New Orleans
on a business trip,
and one coworker was scheduled to fly with me

now, this coworker was a
cute-as-a-button girl from Kentucky,
and she was a riot to hang around with
and she was deathly afraid of flying

and I knew her fear,
so I brought
(back before 9/11,
when you could bring water or soda
into an airport with no problem)
a 32 ounce plastic cup from a fast food joint
filled with hot chocolate and peppermint schnapps
she said she was afraid
so I told her to enjoy some drink
before we get on the plane

and she ordered beers on the plane,
and as I knew we were landing
I started telling her jokes,
and keeping her enthralled
until I finally told her we landed,
and she made it,
and everything was okay

I’m used to flying in airplanes for big events
even if the events are actually flying an airplane
right before New Year’s in Southwest Florida
getting trained,
photographing the view from the clouds
before taking over the controls

or going up in a plane in Longmont Colorado
with no side door
and a parachute strapped to my back
until someone tells you
okay, we’re up 12,500 feet now,
it’s time to start moving

and you waddle to the open door,
hold on
to the fast-moving airplane for a second for dear life,
then let go

I’ve flown for family
flown to marry people in a wedding
flown for vacations
flown for my mother’s cremation
it’s amazing
that sometimes the trip can be a story
but wait for the flight to land
because that’s when the real story can start

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