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This writing was accepted for publication
in the 84 page perfect-bound issue of
cc&d (v244) (the July / August 2013 Issue)

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Art is not Meant
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On the Edge
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On the Edge

Etched into that Tombstone

Janet Kuypers
started 10Ὧ24Ὧ12, completed 10Ὧ25Ὧ12

I’ve seen my tombstone

and the date etched in that stone
is before we met

and you say I saved you
and you say I was what you needed

I know you cannot answer,
but where is what I needed
back when that date
        was etched on that tombstone?

and what, now I am here,
unable to be everything for you —
I’m your savior now?

I had no one to save me
on that fateful day,
        etched in stone

how can I save you
when I don’t know how to save myself

###

was it music
was it science that saved me

because it brings me to tears
to know that I’m here

what, because of science

science is what I rely on
and thanks to science,
I am left here

with this hole

with this tombstone,
and with this hole

###

yes, you’ve made me feel less alone
and this hole would consume the Universe
if you were not here

but like a Black Hole
this void
is never satiated
it keeps wanting more
it keeps swallowing everything around it
it keeps sucking everything in

until nothing can escape

###

I know, I know
galaxies thrive
with a Black Hole at their core
so
is this how
I’m supposed to survive and thrive now?

maybe I should know
that everything now
is just icing on the cake
because I lived through that date

and I saw that date
etched on that tombstone
because I died so long ago

so I just have to remember:

all this joy

and more importantly,

all this pain

this is all
icing on the cake



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