|
This writing was accepted for publication in the 108 page perfect-bound ISSN# / ISBN# issue/book... “Ice King” Down in the Dirt (v141) (the January 2017 Issue)  You can also order this 6"x9" issue as a paperback book:  |
|
| |
|
Order this writing in the book Study in Black the Down in the Dirt July-Dec. 2016 collection book |
 |
get the 418 page Jan.-April 2017 Down in the Dirt issue anthology 6" x 9" ISBN# paperback book:
|
| ||
|
Order this Janet Kuypers writing from her most recent poetry book series: (pheromemes) 2015-2017 poems Order this 6" x 9" ISBN# book today of select poems written mid-2015 - mid-2017 during her first years living in Austin, TX
|
|
|
| |
| or my happiness, or my life
Janet Kuypers 1/22/16 What I have too much of is beyond my control. And that’s not good for the control freak that’s me. These things I have, these things that happen to me leave me trying to repair the damage, leave me trying to improve on the disaster they caused. Right now it’s the economy, stupid. I lose more money by selling what little I have after the market has tanked to pay for a second home, in a town I was moved to against my will, though I was told it was for my own good. I have a house to finish paying for that i’m nowhere near; that I cannot live in and cannot sell without my losing what money I once put into what was supposed to be my home. I have a debt that’s weighing me down, and I swear, I didn’t make these choices before being shoved into this hole. The light’s getting dim from within this hole as I feel the soil falling over my head. * Not that that matters. I’m learning that. I can do everything right and someone else will make some mistake and it will cost me my finances, or my happiness, or my life. # I once turned the wheels of my car to save a motorcyclist from being killed by a speeding car, and my specific act of kindness and concern led me to the E.R., as half the staff in that hospital waited for days ‘til I could start breathing on my own again. That’s what I get, for having too much concern for life. # I’ve learned this. I’ve learned that over the course of my life the battles just keep coming, and just when I think I should get a break, well, who am I kidding. Silly me. My soul gets worn having to protect myself, from everyone else’s wrongdoing, what, because I have too much compassion. That’s what I get. At this point in the game, I should change my mantra to myself. Life may hurt less if I keep repeating it, until it becomes second nature. Just remember. The good things aren’t meant for you. You should have learned this by now. * “the soil falling over my head” is from “I Know It’s Over” by the Smiths. |
