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enjoy this writing from Janet Kuypers
in the cc&d free 2015 PDF file chapbook:

Journey
of poems about her mother
(w/ never-before performed poems)
live 3/28/15 at Hyde Park’s Journey show

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to download the free PDF file chapbook.
Journey - poems from Janet Kuypers
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a year long Journey
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of writing from performance art shows
from June 2014 through June 2014

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a year long Journey

This writing was accepted for publication
in the 108-page perfect-bound
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Blackbirds,
Lyrebirds, WeaverBirds

cc&d, v340, the 12/23 issue

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It Hurts in the Bones, 2015 edit

Janet Kuypers
3/26/15
adapted from 2006’s “It Hurts in the Bones ”


I didn’t realize
how much pain she was in

she looked like her neck hurt,
her back hurt
so I’d ask if if I could rub her neck or back

and she’d say no

then she’d say
that wouldn’t help

that it hurts down in the bones

and we read this is one of the stages
of this disease

and I don’t know what it feels like
to hurt in your bones
something deeper than deep muscle pain
I
I can’t imagine it
I can’t imagine what it feels like

I think my mom
wouldn’t let on
about how much pain she was in

When the doctors told mom
she had six months to a year with this disease
I said to mom,
your father (our grandfather) had cancer
and the doctors said he had
six months to live.
how long did he live?
and mom replied,
six years.
so I said we Bakutis are strong folk
and she can be okay if she fights

but I think mom remembered the agony
of the last weeks of her father’s life,
and I think mom was in so much pain
that she made a decision tight then and there
that she didn’t want that pain
deep down in her bones any more
and decided to let her enemy win.

we keep saying to people that it’s better
if she’s not suffering any more

it kills us inside

but we don’t want her to feel that pain anymore
and we keep telling everyone
that this is for the best.



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