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“Rap Sheet”
the 6/19/15 chapbook with Janet Kuypers
original poetry written for a live show
Janet Kuypers 06/19/15 chapbook “Rap Sheet” Janet Kuypers 06/19/15 chapbook “Rap Sheet - expanded edition” All of the poems in “Rap Sheet”
(many expanded), plus the bonus
poem “Evaluation”, are in

“Rap Sheet”
 expanded edition

This writing was accepted for publication
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The Cosmos is
a Lonely Place

cc&d, v341, the 1/24 issue

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Evaluation

Janet Kuypers
4/21/15

First they took my car.
Had to pick it up from the tow yard.
That was a hundred and fifty-three bucks.

Then I got a lawyer.
I found a cheaper one.
That was a thousand, instead of three.

Brought my checkbook.
May need it at the Secretary of State office
to get a copy of my mandatory “abstract” form.

Wondered how much that would cost me,
but lucky me,
the state only wanted twelve bucks for it.

Because just after that
I had an appointment
for my formal “evaluation.”

The lawyer said I needed this.

I’m afraid of what I need this for.
What, to prove I’m sane?
Or to prove I’m not —

maybe that would lighten my sentence.

When I set my “evaluation”
appointment, they told me
it would take one and a half hours.

And it costs one hundred fifty dollars.
Joy.
I love paying for crime, over and over.

But so much for the “evaluation” —
they asked a few questions
and I filled out tons of forms.

But first, I signed
every form they could think of.
I was so tense

and nervous
that I couldn’t even
sign my name.

I kept stumbling
that fountain pen on the page,
dragging and skipping letters.

Like I couldn’t keep still.

Got the verdict.
Had to go back four more times
for more “evaluation”.

And for this privilege
I only have to pay
one hundred forty more dollars.



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