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Bases Loaded
of baseball themed poems
(w/ never-before performed poems)
live 4/26/15 in front of Chicago’s Wrigley Field

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Bases Loaded - poems from Janet Kuypers
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All the Stories
Down in the Dirt
v211 (9/23)



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Bases Loaded

Janet Kuypers
4/25/15

You men talk about bases,
but this is how the bases
are supposed to go...

First base: you go out for drinks
and you make out standing
outside your car for far too long.

Second base: having sex.
Anywhere and any time. Because,
I mean, a girl has needs too.

Third base: that’s when
he spits out the words first.
“I love you.” And you’re caught

off guard, wait a minute,
you can’t say “I love you”
back unless you think

you could spend the rest
of your life with them,
unless you could see yourself

marrying them. So you
mentally stop, think about this,
you can’t make them wait

for over six seconds
like you’re doing right now,
so quick, what’s your choice.

That’s when it becomes so easy
to look up at them
and say, “I love you too.”

What’s fourth base? (Yeah, I think
you know where this is going.)
That’s when he takes you out to dinner,

the maître d’ seats you
at the best table in the house,
and before the appetizers come

he gets down on one knee,
pulls out a ring that’s far
too much diamond, and

asks for your hand in marriage.
Because boys, that’s how we
see the bases, and that’s how

you really hit a home run.



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