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This writing was accepted for publication in the 108 page perfect-bound ISSN# / ISBN# issue/book “Being Real” cc&d (v264) (the July/August 2016 issue, v26)  You can also order this 6"x9" issue as a paperback book:  |
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Order this writing in the book After the Blues the cc&d July-Dec. 2016 collection book |
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get the 318 page July-Dec. 2016 cc&d magazine issue collection 6" x 9" ISBN# paperback book:
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Order this Janet Kuypers writing from her most recent poetry book series: (pheromemes) 2015-2017 poems Order this 6" x 9" ISBN# book today of select poems written mid-2015 - mid-2017 during her first years living in Austin, TX
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Order this Janet Kuypers writing from her most recent poetry book series: (pheromemes) 2015-2017 poems Order this 6" x 9" ISBN# book today of select poems written mid-2015 - mid-2017 during her first years living in Austin, TX
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| One who Has Too Much
Janet Kuypers 1/9/16 People may have looked her way and thought, wait a minute, she’s had it made all along, she got ahead at work, she made a ton of money, she traveled around the country, and yeah, they tried to kill her but after it’s over she found herself a man (isn’t that what it’s all about anyway?) and she was running the poetry scene in one of the biggest cities in the country (and don’t you dare tell me it’s the Second City, because that only shows what an East Coast snob you are and you don’t know a thing about architecture, or diversity, or giving a shit about your fellow man) so... so even though she’s been ripped from her roots, I mean, what the Hell, she’s got everything she materially wants. As they said in the ‘80s, what’s her damage? I wonder how she’d answer. I’m sure she’d probably say you might be right and he was and is the perfect person for me, and it’s a shame that it took almost dying to force me to find him. But then she’d think, don’t think for a second that I’m the woman who has too much. Sure, we can complain that we lost most of our savings because of the crash of the Internet boom, but I lost my soul before then. What do I have too much of? I have too much anger. I have too much angst. I have too much depression, because if you think you have it all... You don’t. If you have it all you can also have what everyone else doesn’t want and you can live with that torture all your life as you look around and wonder why everyone wonders why you look so sad when you seem to have it all. # Well, you’re right I do have it all, I have the pain of a thousand soldiers running toward an enemy they don’t understand being told to kill when it’s against their will — but this is their only choice. And even if I didn’t see the slaughter trust me, I went through the recovery for far too many months for far too many years, and I’m still recovering from something that someone else did to me, and for some reason, I have to be the one who always has to atone. Maybe you don’t understand because you don’t realize what you already have. Because even when you have it all, someone somewhere can take apart your body against your will while you try to piece your mind together and make sense of what you have left. |
