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This writing was accepted for publication in the 108 page perfect-bound ISSN# / ISBN# issue/book... “Suicidal Birds” Down in the Dirt (v138) (the July/August 2016 Issue)  You can also order this 6"x9" issue as a paperback book:  |
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Order this writing in the book Edible Red the Down in the Dirt July-Dec. 2016 collection book |
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get the 318 page July-Dec. 2016 Down in the Dirt issue anthology 6" x 9" ISBN# paperback book:
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Order this Janet Kuypers writing from her most recent poetry book series: (pheromemes) 2015-2017 poems Order this 6" x 9" ISBN# book today of select poems written mid-2015 - mid-2017 during her first years living in Austin, TX
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| Kinds of Torture
Janet Kuypers 1/27/16 Note that no flowers are delivered to you the six weeks you recover from almost being killed. You had to be in another country when you were strangled before you escaped, scraped elbows and bloody knees. You even kept the sexual assault you’ve endured to yourself, because really, who can you trust. I know, I know, you can stand up for yourself, you keep saying that. There is always a fine line you’ve drawn — you reveal yourself to the outside world while keeping yourself closed away. You’re on every web page I see, but I think it took you twenty years to actually get your own cell phone. Necessity, is what you say, but now, now that you’re got it, you cherish it maniacally. I know that phone will eternally be by your side... And that is why you’ve finally given me my chance. I picked a random time. Nine a.m. sounds fine. I’ll dial that magical number of yours. When you answer, “I know what you did” is all I’ll say before I hang up. And I know it’s a cell phone, I know you see the number I dial from, so I started by going to the airport and dialing from a different pay phone for the first week or two, until I realized I can dial you with the Internet and change the number each time. So I’m sure you’ve checked the number daily, searching helplessly for your lack of answers. How exasperating, with a daily dead end. I have no idea if you respond, since I hang up right away. But i’m thinking it has to be driving you crazy. I’m sure you’re wracking your brain — is it “wracking” or “racking”? Maybe I should say “racking” because these few simple words, these simple calls every single day are torture for you, like a torture rack. I know you say you’re been through it all, but this — it’s only a few words. But it’s a different kind of torture. And how do you fight that? |
