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This writing was accepted for publication in the
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Moon & Sun
cc&d (v268) (the February 2017 issue)




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(pheromemes) 2015-2017 poems
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(pheromemes) 2015-2017 poems

knowing and lurking for eons

Janet Kuypers
2/23/16

It follows you.
It lurks.

You think you’re free of the fear.
You think you’re in the clear.

You’ll be walking down a busy street —
you should know it approaches any time.

It will happen, in the morning commute.
It will happen, in a flash.

It walks right up to you.
It pull a gun to you —

holds it between their jacket & body
so drivers-by can’t see.

It stops you in your tracks.
It completely catches you off guard.

You have no wallet.
You try to compose yourself.

You ask not “What do you want?”, but “Why?”
You wait what seems like eons.

It finally speaks, gun poised.
“It had to happen this way.

You have to die.”
Your eyes turn to saucers.

You ask, “Why must I die?”
You plead, “Who wants me dead?”

It answers with a name
you haven’t heard since

you were attacked by him, years ago.
You finally speak. “Wait,

he, who attacked me,
he, who sexually assaulted me,

he’s the one who wants me dead?
You are killing me to appease a rapist?”

It stops the gunman.
It gives you time to speak again.

“You come to me on the street,
you think that no one will see, and

you shoot me in the name of a rapist?”
It doesn’t answer, just looks confused.

You see the traffic five feet from you.
You look at each other, both lost.

“It doesn’t matter what he paid you,”
you say. “There are trees the other way.

You should just go.”
You wait for any response, then

you close yur eyes.
You open your eyes.

It is gone, the visual nightmare.
It was never there, in reality.

It was only in your head.
You can’t escape it no matter how hard

you try.
Your pace slows, because

you know
you can never break free.



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