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This writing was accepted for publication in the 108 page perfect-bound ISSN# / ISBN# issue/book “the Blind Eye” cc&d (v265) (the September/October 2016 issue, v265)  You can also order this 6"x9" issue as a paperback book:  |
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Order this writing in the book After the Blues the cc&d July-Dec. 2016 collection book |
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get the 318 page July-Dec. 2016 cc&d magazine issue collection 6" x 9" ISBN# paperback book:
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Order this Janet Kuypers writing from her most recent poetry book series: (pheromemes) 2015-2017 poems Order this 6" x 9" ISBN# book today of select poems written mid-2015 - mid-2017 during her first years living in Austin, TX
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| Understanding what’s Crazy
Janet Kuypers 3/4/16 1 Had a boyfriend. Wait, had a Judeo-Christian boyfriend, which meant... When we were off in college getting tanked on the weekends his Sabbath was from sundown Friday to sundown Saturday, so, he wouldn’t go out on Friday nights. A male friend of mine had tickets for a concert one Friday night, I was so psyched to go, but my boyfriend, well, it was his Sabbath. I know he wouldn’t go. But he had no problem if I went. I mean, this other guy was just a friend, so before sundown Friday my boyfriend came over and helped me style my hair before my big concert night with another guy. Now, that might seem a little odd, but I swear to God, this other guy and I were just friends. Really. Which is why it seemed a little more crazy That during the concert my friend licked the side of my face. I mean, he stuck his tongue to my jaw bone and ran his tongue up to my temple. And he never explained why he did it. 2 The public gymnasium hall was often in demand, so when I couldn’t find a tennis partner I reverted to racquetball, practicing a different kind of swing, and knowing that room of walls would always bring the ball back to me. But a guy who liked me wanted to play racquetball, so to the gymnasium we went, and as I said, these rooms were in demand, so we had to keep looking through the eight inch square windows of every racquetball court to see if any were empty and we could enter, and play. Well, we finally found a room and we made it our own, dropping our cases in the corners, and we started to practice our moves. But one shot he hit, well, it was fast, but it must have come at just the right angle in the far upper room corner, because it reflected repeatedly before it shot right into my right eye. Okay, okay, it was more like just right of my eye, below my right eyebrow, but it was still really close, and it was still really fast, and it was still really hard. I dropped my racquet and turn my back to the nearby wall so I’d have somewhere to fall to. He instantly ran over to me, then he put down his racquet and put his hand to my face. “Are you okay?” he asked as I was trying to catch my breath. I moved my hand, and his eyes were two inches from mine. It wasn’t quite crazy, but it was a bit surreal when I looked to the door and saw someone trying to look in to see if they could use the room. Sorry, we’re not in a make-out session, but the room is taken. 3 Maybe it’s not crazy to drink in the sewers, but it might seem crazy when you’re a prim and proper girl with a bottle of champagne to share with your man, and they suggest a great place to share it would be in the sewer. And this prim and proper girl is wearing a suede miniskirt and shoes, but prim and proper girls are taught to follow their man, so agrees she does, and off they go. Of course she has no idea how to get <>Ito the sewer, but of course, he does, so they bring two disposable paper cups (you know, the kind you used to find at office water coolers) and he opens a grating to below a deserted street where they make their way down the metal tubes for steps. It wasn’t what the prim and proper girl had in mind. And, oh well for the suede shoes on the metal steps. Just try not to touch anything down there, Just drink your champagne out of your mini paper cup and remember that you’re finally some place where no one else will think to find you. 4 As more and more of your family dies, after you’ve almost been killed yourself, well, do something to say you’ve done it, before it’s too late. So take a flight across the country to jump from an airplane and have a view of the Rockies during your fall. Spend hours in training, then wait hours because of an afternoon rainfall. The locals say, it’s okay, wait a few hours and the storm will pass, in time to make the jump today. So the woman is waiting, the camera crew’s there too, and the only thing she was told to do for the camera was, “If you’re having fun, do ‘jazz hands’.” Seems simple enough, but when the time came and they were on an airplane with no door and their altimeter said they were at twelve thousand feet and it was time to go, she completely went numb. It was like her eyes went out of focus and she just blindly followed the staff’s commands and went through the motions, without thinking. She didn’t remember how to move her legs when she first fell, but she did everything perfectly. But after they landed, a cameraman had to ask her, “What were you doing with your hands? They were flying all over the place.” And she looked at him quizzically and said, “I was doing ‘jazz hands’.” Even though a hundred twenty-five mile per hour wind resistance gave her no control over her hands, she thought he had to be able to tell. Doing ‘jazz hands’. Of course she was. If you jump out of an airplane, what else would you do? 5 Because the rock band “Wham!” was the first popular European group to hold a rock concert in China, they made their “Freedom” video back in the ‘80s of the China concert. All of the Chinese people will want a photograph with you at the Great Wall of China because everyone is half your height. Well, maybe you can break away from the locals, so you won’t look so crazy, when you walk along the wall and break into song. “I don’t want your freedom,” (That’s a perfect line for the Chinese), “I don’t want your freedom...” 6 I know I wasn’t supposed to be hanging out with the two brothers from up the street — they weren’t really bright, but their screw-ups were so entertaining... So I was out with them at an empty field that led to an abandoned storage building, they set up cans and extra metal sheets as targets for shooting their guns. Okay, no harm there, but one of the shots hit a metal sheet and ricocheted straight into my leg, right by my knee. Okay, okay, the bullet slowed down from the ricochet, it’s right under the surface, it barely hurts. But, my parents don’t want me hanging out with these boys, so hopefully I can just push the bullet out and stop the bleeding and no one will be the wiser. 7 What am I thinking. I’ve never really been crazy. But I’ll tell you what is crazy, a bunch of Democrats supporting an old Socialist because eighteen year olds who are going to college like hearing someone tell them that college will be free, because right now they’ll be in debt for years because of their education. I know they’re too young to know that any Socialist system won’t work in the States, but they don’t need logic or sanity when someone tells them what they want to hear. And speaking of politics right now, I’ll tell you what is crazy, is that a third of the nation supports a business mogul running for President who wants to stop some religions from entering this country, and who refers to women they don’t like as having blood coming out of their lady parts, and who calls another nation one of rapists and robbers. Crazy wants to run our county. Why am I wondering where crazy is. I see crazy wherever I go. |
