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enjoy this writing from Janet Kuypers by clicking the title or the cover from the cc&d free 2017 PDF file chapbook: “Finding where we’re From and the Future” a chapbook of classic & newly edited poetry about what shapes us and how we grow, read live in Austin TX 11/4/17 to music for Expressions! at the Bahá’í Center. |
 
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This writing was accepted for publication in the 108 page perfect-bound ISSN#/ISBN# issue/book “Black and White” cc&d, v285 (the July - August 2018 issue) Order this as a 6"x9" paperback book:  |
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Order this writing in the issue book Across the Wall the cc&d May-Aug. 2018 issues & chapbooks collection book |
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get the 372 page May-Aug. 2018 cc&d magazine issue collection 6" x 9" ISBN#035; paperback book:
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Order this poem in the 2021 poetry book Eternal Never Ending Now Janet Kuypers 1st poetry book from CyberWit.net press T h i s b o o k i n c l u d e s some of Kuypers’ best poetry written over the entire span of her writing career, and is a perfect introduction of Kuypers’s poetry to this international book publisher and retailer. |
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order the ISBN# perfect-bonud 5½" x 8½" paperback book from CyberWit.net: 
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| Burn It In (reaching the end edit)
Janet Kuypers written Summer 1997, edited 10/17/17 Once I was at a beach off the west coast of Florida with a friend on New Year’s eve. I watched the waves crash as the yellow moon hung over the gulf like a swaying lantern. My friend watched this scene and said, “I want to look at this scene, and memorize it, burn it into my brain, record it in my mind, so I can call it up when I want to. So I can have it with me always.” I too have my recorders. I burn these things into my brain, I burn these things onto pages. I pick and choose what needs to be said, what needs to be remembered. When I first went to college I was studying to be a computer science engineer, I wanted to make a ton of money I wanted to beat everyone else because burned in my brain were the taunts of kids who were in cliques so others could do the thinking for them because burned in my brain were the evenings of the high school dances I never went to because burned in my brain were the people I knew I was better than who thought they were better than me. Well, yes, I wanted to make a ton of money I wanted to beat everyone else but I hated what I was doing I hated what I saw around me hated all the pain people put each other through and all of these memories just kept flooding me so in my spare time to keep me sane, to keep me alive I wrote down the things I could not say that was how I recorded things. When I looked around me, and saw friends raping my friends I wrote, I burned into these nightmares with a pen and yes, I have this recorded I have all of this recorded. What did you think I was doing when I was stuffing hand-written notes into my pockets or typing long hours into the night? I was sitting in a computer lab slamming my hands, my fingers against the keyboard because there were too many atrocities in the world too many injustices that I had witnessed too many people who had wronged me — and I had a lot of work to do. There had to be a record of what you’ve done. Did you think your crimes would go unpunished? Did you think that I wouldn’t remember? You see, that’s what I have my poems for so there will always be a record of what you have done. Yes, I have defiled many pages in your honor, you who swung your battle ax and thought no one would remember in the end. Well, I made a point to remember. Yes, I have defiled many pages and have you defiled many women? You, the man who rapes my friends? You, the man who rapes my sisters? You, the man who rapes me? Is this what makes you a strong man? you want to know why I do the things I do I had to record these things that is what kept me together when people were dying that is what kept me together when my friends went off to war that is what kept me together when my friends were raped and left for dead that is what kept me together when no one bothered to notice this or change this or care about this these recordings kept me together I need to record these things to remind myself of where I came from I need to record these things to remind myself that there are things to value and things to hate I need to record these things to remind myself that there are things worth fighting for worth dying for I need to record these things to remind myself that I am alive |
