Order this writing in the Kuypers poetry book Close Cover Before Striking (first sold out with a neon green cover, later released with a matchbook cover) now available for only 14⁹⁵

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in the book
Chapter 38 (v2)
This volume is available in two forms,
with Slightly different contets:
as a 6"x9" supplement book and
as a digest-sized 5.5"x8.5" book.
This writing is in one - or both - books.

the 6"x9" paperback book: $14.95
the 5.5"x8.5" paperback book: $14.95
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finally, literature for
the snotty and elite (v1)
This is volume 1 of a 2 volume set,
6"x9". Most of this book
is also in the 5.5"x8.5" book.

the 6"x9" paperback book: $21.95

Order this writing
in the book
finally, literature for
the snotty and elite
This is the 1st of a 3 volume 2009 set.

the 5.5"x8.5" paperback book: $14.95
or as a e-book/PDF file download: $5.95

Order this writing in the collection book Dark Matter: the Mind of Janet Kuypers available for only 12⁹⁵

Order this poem in the 2023 poetry book Testament Janet Kuypers poetry book from CyberWit.net press		This book includes poetry in 4 sections: part 1 (over half the book) is all women’s-rights post-Roe v. Wade poetry post-Dobbs v. Jackson, part 2 is life and death poetry, losing loved ones and suicide, part 3 is poetry reflective of the first book of the Old Shattering the Glass Ceiling, and part 4 is a few closing poems reflective of the last book of the New Testament, that ties into section 1 & women’s rights. order the ISBN# perfect-bonud 5½" x 8½" paperback book from CyberWit.net!

letter, 4/14/95

I’m kind of dead in the water. My burger-flippin’ gig fell through, or I fell through it. The morning I was to start, I put on my idiot uniform&got into my car to make the gig,&I COULD NOT DO IT. Big time anxiety attack. Telling myself that if I don’t get some bread together I’m gonna end up in various kinds of hell did not work.

is this what I’m reduced to? I can’t
go through with it, I can’t, I just can’t.
I deserve better than this. More. Some
thing rewarding, something fulfilling,

something not so empty, useless, life
less like the feeling left in my stomach.
At least I still have feeling, or is it just
a numbness of sorts, a numbness and an

anger. Numbness alone isn’t enough to
kill myself over, apathy and lack of
feeling doesn’t promote action. What do
I want? What can I do? What range of

emotions to I still have to go through,
before I’ve hit them all? I feel like I’m
near the end. When I get there, I’ll
know. Maybe it’s anger. I don’t know yet.

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