---

 

Order this writing in the Kuypers poetry book Contents Under Pressure (original release sold out, new printing just released) now available for only 1495

Order this writing in the book A Wake-Up Call From Tradition This is the 2nd of a 3 volume 2009 set.
the 5.5"x8.5" paperback book: $14.95

Order this writing in the book finally, literature for the snotty and elite (v1) This is volume 1 of a 2 volume set, 6"x9". Most of this book is also in the 5.5"x8.5" book.
the 6"x9" paperback book: $21.95

Order this writing in the collection book Evolution available for only 1395 or as a download for only 495

Order this writing in the book Laying the Groundwork

paperback (just issues) 5.5" x 8.5" book w/ b&w pages: $15.95		paperback perfect-bound 5.5" x 8.5" book w/ b&w pages: $17.95		paperback 6" x 9" cc&d perfect-bound book w/ b&w pages: $21.95		paperback 6" x 9" cc&d perfect-bound book w/ color pages: $114.95

Get this Janet Kuypers writing in vol. 4 (the 2010 book) of her writing in cc&d: Pulled the Trigger Click on the back cover or the text below for the 5.5" x 8.5" paperback ISSN# book			This book is also available as a 6" x 9"perfect-bound ISBN# book! Click on the front cover or the ISBN type above to order the 6" x 9" book.

Gary’s Blind Date


A friend of mine had a roommate named Gary
and Gary was a man
who was always down on his luck

So on one particular occasion,
after Gary had a dating dry spell,
my friend decided to set Gary up
on a blind date.

Now, he said, this girl
is beautiful, she’s funny,
you’ll think she’s great. trust me.
Pick her up Friday night.

And Friday came, and Gary,
feeling more and more apprehensive,
said, but I’m not feeling well. I’ve
been sick all week.

And my friend said, now I don’t want to hear
any excuses. You’re going.

So Gary got ready for his blind date
and drove over to the girl’s house.
She lived with her parents,
so when Gary rang the door bell
the girl’s mother answered.

“Oh, you must be Gary, please,
come in,” she said.

Once Gary got into the house,
the mother said,
my daughter’s still getting ready.
Would you like to wait?

and Gary, still not feeling well,
asked where the washroom was.
She directed him to the newly remodeled basement.

Gary walked into the brand-new bathroom.
New fixtures. Thick, white,
wall-to-wall carpeting.

Gary sat down on this new ivory throne,
still sick. But when he looked over
there was no toilet paper.
He couldn’t just stand up, he thought,
this isn’t just a regular trip to the bathroom,
I need something
to clean myself off with.
He couldn’t use a towel.
So he took off his pants
and used his underwear.

But he couldn’t leave the underwear
in the small, open trash can in the corner
of this newly-remodeled
bathroom, he thought.
So he
dropped them
in the toilet

and flushed.

Which caused the toilet to overflow,
causing the newly-remodeled bathroom
to look
less than new.

So here was Gary’s dilemma:
he left his underwear in the toilet
and defiled this family’s brand-new bathroom
all without even getting the chance
to introduce himself
to his date.

What are his options, what are his options.

So he did the only thing he thought
he could do in this situation:
he climbed out the small
bathroom window
and
drove
home.


When he arrived at his apartment
so early from his date,
his roommate had to ask.

And after that, he never
set Gary up
on a blind date
again.

Copyright of written pieces remain with the author, who has allowed it to be shown through Scars Publications and Design.Web site © Scars Publications and Design. All rights reserved. No material may be reprinted without express permission from the author.

Problems with this page? Then deal with it...