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(recovery)
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Rape, Sexism, Life & Death
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Why Peace Will
Forever Elude Us

Down in the Dirt, v167
(the November/December 2019 Issue)




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Like My Motto

Janet Kuypers, December 27, 1998


It is so easy to hope for things
It is easy when you've got nothing
to hope for something

I know women who think that
it would be nice if there was a nice rich guy
that would come along
and sweep them off their feet
and then the rest of their lives
they could eat bon bons
and watch movies on their television
and they could decide where their adopted child
would go for private school

I never said I thought that way
but I know that ideology exists

and at times I just get tired of fighting it
I figure that no one is listening to me and
I figure that this whole hope thing
is over, well,
overdone
over-rated
overly confusing

over-something

so I'm wondering that if
I'm getting tired of fighting it, well,
why am I even fighting any of this?
everyone has been stepping all over me,
so why don't I just get used to
the whole cycle

I've got treadmarks on my back
from the bicycles and motorcycles and cars
all running me over
and there are heel marks and toe prints
as people were using me as their stepping stool
to climb the corporate ladder

my face is now covered with soot
because every time I try
to clean myself off
someone fights me
and steps on me
and pushes my cheek into the asphalt again

strands of hair are matted into my face now
into ny mouth
almost touching my eye
and this is the cycle, I think,
this is the way it goes
so stop fighting, girl
stop fighting
get used to it
these are the words
I have to keep telling myself
until they are like my motto



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