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So I’m Left Confused

Janet Kuypers

it’s been months now
that I’ve known my mother’s intentions
and I know she’s going to die
and I’ve been having to get used to that

I mean, I’m young for this to happen
my brother is nineteen years older than me
he’s fifty five, and his mother is dying

my husband is forty four,
and his mother is doing just fine

people don’t expect their mothers to die
when they’re only in their thirties, so they?

so I’ve been sitting here for months
bracing myself for the inevitable
thinking I’m so out of place here
I’m too young for this

and then I think of my friend Brian,
the man I just married to his wife in Seattle
and he’s maybe a year older than me
and his father passed away

and then I think of my friend Carol, my age,
and her father dies when she was very young
and her mother died a few years ago

so I’m left confused
am I the odd one out
or do people’s mothers die
at any age?

am I too young for this,
or does it always tear you apart
no matter what age you are?

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