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S&M front cover, 2007
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Dual
of Janet Kuypers poetry converted to prose, based on 1990s chapbooks
from GAD Publishing Company of Kuypers: “Drop.” and “Roll.”
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Dual

some people want to believe



Janet Kuypers

    So we were sitting there at denny’s in some suburb of detroit, i don’t know which suburb it was, but we were there at like ten in the morning eastern standard time, i was grabbing a bite to eat before i crossed the ambassador bridge and travelled into canada. you know, i really only associate places like denny’s with travelling now, i always stop at some place like denny’s only when taking a road trip and just stopping for some food. i think if i went into a denny’s and i wasn’t travelling, i’d get really confused.

    well, anyway, like i said, we were at denny’s, and it was morning, so the both of us got breakfast. being a vegetarian, i ordered eggs with hash browns and toast, right? and the waitress says to me, like they always do in some no-name town in the middle of america, “yuh don’t want any MEAT?”, like it’s so unheard of to not eat meat at breakfast. so i say, no, no meat, thank you, and then my friend orders pretty much the same thing, and we sit for a while, and talk and stuff, and then the food comes. so then she asks me, “you’re a vegetarian, right?” and i say, yes, and then she goes, “but you’re eating chicken.” and i’m just like, well, no, i’m not, an egg is an animal by-product, not animal flesh, and i was about to say that that was the difference between being a vegetarian and being a vegan, and she says, “but if a chicken sat on it long enough, it would become a chicken.” and i’m just like, well, no, it’s an unfertilized egg, there was never a rooster around that hen, so it could never become a chicken. and she’s like, well, it’s a chicken, though, and she just couldn’t think that this wasn’t a chicken. and i’m just thinking, my god, does she really think that a chicken can lay eggs without them being fertilized? like only worms and stuff can procreate without two sexes present. so our voices start getting a little louder, and then it ends up where i’m saying “so are you having an abortion every time you have a menstrual cycle? are men who have wet dreams mass murderers?” and she’s looking away and saying “i’m not listening to you -”

    and then i realized that some people, with logic thrown in their face, will still believe what they want to believe.











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