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What The Third Death is Like

Janet Kuypers
2003 (written for the feature “Death Come in Threes”)

    When do you know it’s over, you’re recovered and everything’s better? I mean, the medications and the doctors visits and the blood samples finally stopped, and I can drive and use a knife in the kitchen without fearing my own safety, and walk down the stairs without using a handrail or someone else’s help, but...but that feeling is always there, the feeling like you went through Hell and no one knows what it’s like and you can’t tell them because they just don’t have the time to listen.
    You know when you hear that someone dies (a grantparent, a cousin, an old friend), you feel terrible, you bawl your eyes out... You go to the funeral you reehash the good times to try to make you feel better
    And maybe, you know, maybe two weeks later...you’re no longer crying.
    Because people move on.
    People forget what the victim went through. People don’t know (people never knew), and you can never know how to tell them.

    That’s what that third death can be like, i think.

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