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enjoy this Kyle Hemmings writing in the free April 2013 PDF file chapbook I Was Charles Bronson’s Secret Hostage				You can also order this as a 2013 6" x 9" perfect-bound paperback ISBN# book! Click on the cover spread for the book I Was Charles Bronson’s Secret Hostage

I Was Lana Turner’s Tormented Secret Live-in & I Never Wrote a Freakin’ Book About It

Kyle Hemmings

I told her that someday she’d get hers, that sooner or later, it’s
going to rain poets who moonlight as 3rd rate mechanics. I said
“Give me back my washers, bitch!” She slunk in the doorway with
that sexy pout, drunk again & wearing a satin nightgown that she
stole from a houseguest turned murder suspect. She stuffed the
washers in her panties and said “Come and Get it, Sheep-Boy.” I
held up my hands, showed her the grease. I said, “Those washers
cost me $1.50 apiece. They’re special washers. They can double
as sex-aids. And do you want really want these greasy hands in a
pair of panties autographed by Franchot Tone?”

“Go wash them, Dum-Dum,” she said.

“Oh no,” I said, “I don’t trust the tap water here—not hard
water or soft.”

I never got those washers back.

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