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enjoy this Kyle Hemmings writing in the free April 2013 PDF file chapbook I Was Charles Bronson’s Secret Hostage				You can also order this as a 2013 6" x 9" perfect-bound paperback ISBN# book! Click on the cover spread for the book I Was Charles Bronson’s Secret Hostage

An Endearing Antidote about Sophia Loren That I Told Almost No One

Kyle Hemmings

It was raining drops big as matzo balls. Okay, an exaggeration,
but so was the movie she was filming. Something about cowboys
who couldn’t die or sneeze or fart in the desert. She made me
the most delicious rum cake. I said, “Sophia, did anyone tell you
that you make the most delicious rum cake?” She slapped me.
I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT. She slapped me with my cheeks
full of her rum cake. Bits of saliva drenched rum cake spotted her
walls. I said, “SOPHIA, DID I SAY SOMETHING WRONG?”
She said her favorite uncle was a rummy, drowned at sea. Then
she stormed away, muttering something about Sergio Leone and
Terrence Hill. FOOLS! she screamed out and thrusting a cupped
hand into the air. The next time I stayed at her house, I didn’t ask
for rum cake. She served cold spaghetti.

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