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Bad Night to Do the Boogaloo

Kyle Hemmings

    A crippled war veteran paid me to dance for him. He had a bare-bones flat in Brooklyn. Or was it Mars? I was too far to tell the difference. I did all the right moves. I did the Frug and the Watusi. I did the Jerk and the Swim. He spread out some bills on his night table. I said You want something more? I said You must be hungry. Pretend I’m a vanilla chocolate bunny. Pretend I’m a soft-boiled egg with a painted face. Pretend I’m pink salt-water taffy and the ocean is full of open lips. He pouted like a kid reluctant to do house chores. He said It’s not my cup of tea. But then I understood. He had been shot by the Viet Cong, by other one-night lovers, either too high or too low. He thanked me, shut off the lights and went to sleep. I rushed out to score some pills the color of the last taxi cab the fare I couldn’t afford. The Iceman had melted. I bought two packages of Twinkies from an all-night deli, lox on a bagel, a baloney and Swiss cheese on pumpernickel, three bags of hard pretzels and a bottle of seltzer water. Hadn’t eaten in two days. I returned to his flat and crawled into his bed. We slept like two empty tea cups with plenty of room between. In the morning, I purged myself in his toilet. I gargled and spat. I then folded his clothes, kissed him on the cheek, and left him a nice tip.



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