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Edie, Come Back
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Edie, Come Back, a Kyle Hemmings chapbookbook
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Almost Got Lucky Tonight

Kyle Hemmings

Tonight, I picked up a master sadist.
He was sitting at a table at Max’s Kansas City.
I could tell by his bulging muscles and ingeniously
wicked smile that he lived to kill waif starlets like me.
I called him my Dr. Know.

After I brought him to my apartment, I said we’re not here
to share a bottle of prune juice or to discuss
your romantic granny’s sweet tooth
or her naughty indiscretions with virgin sailors.

Dr. Know failed me. Came too quick.
Nor could could he smother me completely
without the proper training manuals.
After the third time of throwing me to the floor,
I couldn’t get up. He left the room.
I crawled over, reached up, grabbed the red telephone,
and I dialed Andy.
Told him that I wouldn’t be straight for another year.
I imagined him snickering at the other end of the line.
He said Isn’t it a shame when you can’t even floss your own teeth?

I said Go fuck your Brillo pads!

He laughed, then hung up.



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