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Scream
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Alice’s Interview with Helen Gurley Brown Concerning Her First Love

Kyle Hemmings

    First memory? Good or bad? Or are we going too far?
    It started as being each other’s pet turtle, lost and found. Dime store love. Later on we grew into sea turtles. Exotic and more sophisticated. I turned him on his belly until he could have cried “Right side up! I’m a shallow homebody, a flat-back with coastal dreams.”
    He could have meant “wet”.
    Really? My kind of boy. A poet stuck in a shell.
    Foreplay in the Harrisons’ garage. A yelp when a poke didn’t feel quite right. I was gangly and freckled. He was bony with shifting eyes. A hedonistic boy with three pimples dotting his chin. Me? I could stretch and wrap around like leather. I was his favorite scarf. By the time, he wrote his first prize essay, he called me his Cosmo girl. (She laughs).
    How long did it last? I’m talking relationship.
    As long as clouds. As long as tomorrow and next week and the semblance to yesterdays. I had nightmares of Carmelite nuns checking our bed-sheets for stains. As long as the time it takes to realize that the sky is the future moving in circular motion around the earth.
    What does that mean?
    That we’ll meet again.
    Who ended it?
    A car accident. A what and not a who. Must have been thinking of me while driving. Maybe a cloud resembled me. He wrapped himself around a telephone pole. The pole survived. He forgot that of the two of us, I was the one who could stretch into improbabilities, could contort snake-thought, could meld, could drive blind.
    I survived and lived to be a guilty bitch.
    How so?
    I only loved him for his curls.



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