A Steady Muse
Madeleine Baran
I looked away for only a few moments,
And I looked back to see the sun had risen,
Forcing me to face reality.
For in the night,
I am elusive
I am nothing
And I am formless
Walking down empty streets
Bits of song and verse in my head
Treading a steady pace between
Beethoven and Webber
I walk
For in the night
I am empty
I am nobody
And this is best
My thoughts blanket me
with their cold monotony
as my pace quickens
and then slows to a dead man's walk
I worry not
believing the old lie
What you can't see can't hurt you
And I realize its falseness
For I can't see myself
And, oh, how I have hurt myself
So I forget,
And, as I walk, pull leaves off trees,
Just to hurt something else
In the daylight my searching eyes
turn to a cold stare
as I block out the world and myself
falseness, hypocrisy, lies
And, once again, when darkness comes,
I will walk
And I will chant to myself
And I will not give in.
