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CHRISTMAS, 1987

Stephen W. Brodie



He had asked his mother before. Many times.
Yet he always got the same answer, that
strange vacant stare that never seemed to
be directed at anything in particular. Right
above his left ear, he thought. But he couldn’t
be for sure. Then, after a few moments of
silence, she’d return to her household chores
like nothing ever happened.

Johnny was thirteen years old. A man. And
he had a right to know. After all, how can you
be a man without knowing the truth?

After school, before his mother had gotten
home from work, he would sneak into her room
and look through her bureau drawers. Not sure
what he was looking for. Never finding it, either.
But still he looked, every day, as if one day
whatever it was would appear there.

And again, he’d ask his mother.

Until one day. Christmas was approaching.
And he wanted to surprise her by decorating the
house. He climbed up into the attic to search
for the box marked X-Mas’. He’d never been up
in the attic before. Mother always got the box
down for him. But he was a man now.

As he peered around the attic, he spied the box.
He approached it. And as he stooped down to
retrieve it, he looked up, noticing another box
in the corner under a blanket of dust. It read
Jonathan’s Things’. His childhood curiosity
drew him to it, wondering what could be inside this
box with his name on it. He opened it. Inside were
a few articles of clothing, a handful of envelopes
rubber-banded together, and a silver chain bearing
the word DADDY’. Underneath, he found a
stack of photographs. His heart raced. He gazed
at the faces. His mother. A baby. A young man
he’d never seen before. And he knew.

Just then he felt a hand on his shoulder. He
turned to see his mother’s reddened face, eyes
filled with tears. He asked her. She looked him
in the eye and said, “He died soon after you were
born, sweetheart. I just didn’t know what to say.
I still miss him so much.”

Johnny hugged his mother and squeezed her tight.
Tears of pain and relief covered the box in salty
pools of dust as a great burden was lifted.
Together, they decorated the house in anticipation
of a joyful new holiday season.

And Johnny put a star atop the tree. Said a
prayer. And wished his father a
Merry Christmas.



Scars Publications


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