Cinderella in Afghanistan
david cooper
This is how Afghani women tell
the story of Cinderella. To start with, she
had only one step-
sister who together with the step-mother tried to
trip her up, hold
her back, sabotage
her love life. Despite
their best efforts Cinderella got
engaged and at her wedding feast they made
one last spiteful attempt to bring her to
ruin. They served her a dish of
turnips, which
all Afghanis know is
a powerful laxative. Indeed later that
night Cinderella awoke to find her-
self in a strange house and in
need of a W.C., having neglected
to ask her husband, who now was
snoring beside her, where the out-
house was located or the chamber-
pot was kept. After searching and not
finding, she gently pulled
off her husband’s
pajama bottoms, shat
in the seat of
the garment, and gently put
them back on him. In the
morning he awoke and
terrible embarrassed begged
Cinderella not to tell
a soul he had been
incontinent on his
wedding night, swearing, “I’ll
obey your every
command for the rest of
our married lives of
only you’ll keep
this secret.” About
a week later step-mom and step
sister came by to see if and how
well their plan had workd. “So, how do
you find married life? How does you husband treat
you?” they asked, squatting on cushions and carpets, over
tea and pastries. “Splendid, really,” Cinderella replied, “he’s
a real doll, we couldn’t be happier.” After showing them
out she rolled on the floor laughing her-
self to sleep, dreaming of further revenge. When step-
sis got engaged, Cindy fgiured
turn about was fair play, so at the
wedding she served up
the same turnip dish, which had
the expected result. Finding herself in
the same predicament Cinderella had been in, the step-
sister, who was not as clever, shat in her husband’s
boot. In the morning when the
groom discovered what his bride had
done he sent her packing back
to her mother. And
Cinderella’s two step-
kin lived miserable ever after.
reprinted from OUTERBRIDGE with the author’s permission
