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first son

daniel crocker


remember
father
sitting
w/ me
and older brother
said
drunk
all drunk
srunk w/ brother
drunk w/ friends
“hey,” he said,
“my dad
told me
on death bed,
i don’t love you,
i never loved you.”

my dad said
drunk
“i want you to know,
your daddy loves you,
god, your daddy loves you.”

Later
years,
sober
dad says,
“it’s dan i feel sorry for,
i had money before
been laid off ever since,
ain’t been able to buy him
what i bought richie,
but then again,richie is my first son,
& there is something special
about that,
i could never love anyone
like i love him...
my first son.”

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