in the numskull forest of my addictions
arguing the cold heart of history
and squinting suspiciously into the dark
where kids play like soldiers or gangsters or dead men
[even I know better than this sweetheart]
dipping into the novacaine of denial
faster than fall weather changes
or the inevitable spur of the moment
right here right now right on the money
with no protection save insomnia
[and enough of that to last a lifetime]
the truth sits in small bottles by the sink
every one of them a nighttime of despair
raised like some savior from the grave
sitting shiva
here with me alone in this quiet casket
[earlier than usual pony boy]
give in you said once or twice or more
against a backdrop fatamorgana
[voracious bitch]
entertaining the troops while the war raged
making faces in a cracked discolored mirror
everything is temporary
given the deaths of children
[and their parents]
sitting shivering
over the corpse
like crystal maggots
I am cold
the needle is warm
everything fades