SOMBRE DESIR
deckard kinder
(also in cc&d magazine v102, July 1998)
regretting your touch
or
feeling it:
how easily I
slip from one to the other
instead of avoiding them
[write about it they say and I do
until I can’t write anymore]
outcome?
you win I lose
today like yesterday tomorrow like today
and on and on and on
how easily I
write about you
to no end
except
grasping at
tender terminal memories
how easily I
grieve over them
instead of letting go
my mind shrieks
to forget
still amnesia is not for me
until I die
[just let it go they say
understanding nothing of my love
or my obsession for
you]
everyday like every other day
regretting your touch
and loving it at the same time
wondering where you are
escaping to you in my mind
because you are nowhere else
