Scarcely a Whisper
debra purdy kong
Adrianna knew she was being followed. She’d noticed the car shortly after she left the schoolyard; a white Datsun with rust on the fenders and a dented driver’s door. Since she baby-sat for half of the families on this street, help was nearby.
The car pulled up beside her. Adrianna glanced at a face surrounded by dark, curly hair and a greying beard. She stopped, then smiled with recognition, until reality swept a warm, cautious flame over her back.
“How are you, sweetheart?” he asked hesitantly.
She stsred at her father’s pouchy, anxious eyes. He’d walked out on her mom three years ago, and Adrianna hadn’t seen him since. She and mom had moved into a small apartment, leaving no forwarding address who’d give it to him. She wondered how he knew which school she went to.
”Can I give you a lift home?” he asked.
Adrianna hugged her schoolbooks. She wasn’t sure she wanted to talk to him; yet, she couldn’t pretend he wasn’t there. “I guess so.”
In the car, she noticed how the wrinkles cut across his forehead and down his face. He was thinner than she remembered.
“How’s school going?”, he asked, his voice suddenly cheerful.
She cleared her throat. “Fine.”
“You must be in grade eleven?”
“Yeah.”
He paused for several seconds. “Are you still studying ballet?”
“I quit last year. Mom couldn’t afford the lessons.” She remembered how he would promise to attend her recitals, then never show up. She supposed he just wanted to make conversation.
“Are you involved with any sports or clubs at school?”
“No, I work at McDonalds. It keeps me busy.”
“Good.” He pushed in the car lighter, then reached for the cigarette tucked behind his ear. “We live in a house about thirty miles from here. A friend gave us a good deal on the rent for looking after his property.”
Adrianna was tempted to ask if he lived with the woman he’d dumped her mother for, or whether this was somebody new. On the other hand, why should she care?
“Do you still have the cats?” he asked, dangling the cigarette from his mouth.
Adrianna gripped her books. “The landlord wouldn’t let us keep them.”
The morning they took their three spoiled, old cats to the animal shelter, she’d hated her father for refusing to pay support. They had to sell the house and most of the furniture.
“We have a menagerie.” Her father reached for the lighter. “Five cats, two dogs, several guinea pigs, and a chicken.”
Adrianna wanted him to ask about mom; she wanted to tell him about the two jobs she worked to make ends meet.
“Do you know what you’ll do after you graduate?”
“Get a job in an office.”
“Sounds like a smart plan,” he replied, then paused. “I’ve been doing some contracting work here and there, but the housing market’s lousy these days.”
Every turn her father made brought them closer to her apartment building. She wouldn’t be surprised if he knew which suite was theirs. He could have had a detective find them. As he pulled into the parking lot Adrianna thought about inviting him inside, just ot show them how they lived; but her dad reeked of cigarette smoke and mom would notice the smell when she came home. Besides, a longer visit wouldn’t change anything.
“Thanks for the ride,” she mumbled.
“My pleasure.”
Adrianna saw his anxiety, and something else; pain maybe, or a little guilt. She remembered good times as a child: picnics, amusement parks, and visits to her grandparents. She missed her grandparents so much.
“How are Gram and Gramps?” she asked, hoping to sound casual.
“Just fine. They’d love to talk to you.”
She sent them Christmas cards every year, with no return address, at her mother’s insistence.
He father jolted down an address and phone number on the back of a Visa receipt, then handed the paper to her. “Keep in touch, okay?”
Adrianna opened the driver’s door; her cheeks burned as she turned to him. “Why did you come here?”
His gaze was solemn. “Because I miss you.” He started to reach for her hand, then stopped. “It was good seeing you again, sweetheart.”
“Bye.” Her voice was scarcely a whisper. She stepped into the cool, soggy leaf smell of autumn.
He backed the car out of the parking spot, then waved. Smiling pensively, Adrianna waved back, then slowly turned around, feeling as if she’d left all her energy in the car. The second she entered the apartment, the tears began to spill. She dropped her schoolbooks on the coffee table, then sat down.
Sometimes, just before drifting off to sleep, she could almost feel her favourite cat jump on her bed, the curl up by her legs. Her father would never know how much she missed her pets. Until his rusted white Datsun drove away, she’d never known how much she missed him too. She tucked the Visa receipt in her pocket.
