MAY DAY 1994
greg kosmicki
Sunday after Mass and subs
Debbie and the girls
Robin and Audrey
go to the mall for gifts
for Mother's Day
after Blimpie's
pumped gas at 7-11
$2.30 worth into the red
plastic can
Briana helped me et the gas can filled
standing on the pump island singing songs
she opened the lid to the car's gas tank
spots her rocks
she puts into the cars
in the space by the gas tank nozzle
under the hinged door
was excited
I'd left them there
pay by check
she wanders away
I call
Briana Briana
where are you come to Dad
she reappears
down the aisle by the toys
home, change my clothes and hers
come out, gas up the mower
fill the oil
pull it over
in front of the garage
pull the cord
explain first
what it's for
after 6 or 7 pulls
(not bad for all winter cold)
she runs away to the house!
at the burst of noise
shouts something
comes back closer, bolder
runs along side
gets frightened when I mow
the strip between
street and sidewalk
runs along beside me
shouting Daddy Daddy come back!
as if I were going into
some no man's land
So I stop the mower
explain
this is part of the lawn too
then we settle into the round
and round
routine
she runs along side
sometimes comes up to put
her hand
onto the bar
to push
gets out her own
wheeled toy to mow along with me
brings me imaginary gas
to fill it
then stands
on the brick abutment
of the porch
say Daddy
jump me down
so I jump her down
tell her how brave she is
mow into the back yard
where I stop
chop and saw apart
branches left
from shrubs cut down
last week
cut some into tindling
for next Fall's fire
think how I'll think back
to this May Day
afternoon
discover bark
splits off easily from one species
spend time peeling sticks
Debbie and Audrey home
with two new style
cards
disguised as short books
which say
how great our mothers are
beautifully drawn and colored pictures
all
Caucasian
poured gas
set flame to a shrub stump
grown into the fence
stump of a weedy
catalpa or cigar tree
(a guy told me he used to smoke the pods
back in the 40's when he was a kid)
They bought a new dress too for Debbie
some cards for various
upcoming events
and occasions
including our sister-in-law's
imminent death
from cancer
Audrey asks Can I help saw
I see young fingers mangled
say no
it's too dangerous
go inside later
Audrey's at the kitchen table
she and Debbie talk
Debbie reads the Sunday papers
fights off a headache
from Grandma's guilt trips
(Debbie's not going
to go to California
when Vonnie dies)
to show Audrey
a walking stick I made her
because she needed one
a few weeks ago in the woods
because I want to show her
I didn't want to shut her out
when I didn't let her help with the saw
she doesn't like the burl left on
says cut it off Dad
I thought it was cool
Briana in and out of the house
all day, Audrey
comes out once
to inspect and figure
what are my plans
The place where we had thought
to garden may be an old trash dump
since last year when I dug there
I found clinkers form some
far forgotten fires, this year
the broken off top
of a medicine bottle
circa 1920
and yes, I'm going to get rid
of the shrub rubbish, and no
I hadn't thought about taking out
this dog-run fence, and, no
I'm not planning to trim away
the brush in back
finish the backyard mowing
late afternoon
Briana still out
plays run away and hide
form the big red mower monster
light the shrub stumps
on fire
again
but it's too green
the weedy wood
just chopped down
last weekend
Back inside, almost dinner
onion soup boils
fills the kitchen
dirt, mud, tree sap slime
gas on my hands
tree buds in my hair
time to take a bath
before dinner
but not
clean up my painting room
downstairs
Debbie on the phone
to California
about our sister-in-law
(they say now less than one week)
Audrey does sit-ups
with her feet
under the couch
we got from Grandpa Bill
when he died
Briana watches 101 Dalmatians
for the hundred and first time
Mark's in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
with the school band
(he called yesterday
to say he's had both ears
pierced after we
told him no for years)
Debbie fixes supper
worries about California
onions boiled on the stove
Oh tell me my family if one of you will
where each one of you ends where the poem begins
