IN THE END,
C Ra McGuirt
we have a choice:
to run away from
or towards ourselves.
if we run away, no one will follow
& excoriate our cowardice.
no one will trip us on the sand
& circle to jeer at our frailty.
no one will judge us if we choose to keep running.
we will simply be allowed to run
because there is nothing that doesn't allow it,
& we will be allowed to run
until we forget to remember ourselves,
& nothing runs into itself again.
if we choose to run towards ourselves
we will first feel an incredible pain
that warns us not to run this way.
the first time we feel it,
we will obey this pain.
if we keep choosing to run toward ourselves
then we will feel an even more horrible pain,
& after that, something much worse than pain
or dying, or being alone forever.
something worse than simply
being allowed to run out.
past that pain, there are no guarantees
but there is something past that pain,
if only because we have put it there
by running.
no matter our choice, there is no judgement:
only the running,&the results of running.
it would be good if we knew for sure
at any given time
which of these ways we are running.
sometimes, we know all too well,
& we try to hide the horizon from ourselves.
we fail,&sometimes we change directions
simply because we are mad
or not mad enough.
none of us know which of these ways
anyone else is running. someone who seems
to be running away
may actually be running
towards a guaranteed terrible pain
& a possible reward.
none of us know until the end,
& there is no end, so none of us know.
in the beginning, we have a choice:
to run away from or towards ourselves,
& either way we run,
no one can follow.
