writing from
Scars Publications

Audio/Video chapbooks cc&d magazine Down in the Dirt magazine books

 

NURSERY RHYMES FOR NERDS
Part I: They Can Have My Macintosh
When They Pry It From My Cold Dead Fingers


jason pettus




I will not use your damn PC.
I will not use it, Jason I be.

I will not use it on my desk,
I will not use it on a test.
I will not use it with my toes,
I will not use it with Windows.

I will not use your damn PC,
I will not use it, Jason I be.

I will not give Bill Gates my time,
I won’t let him commit that crime.
And yes, Netscape may sometimes fail,
but I WILL NOT use his MS Mail!

I will not use his damn PC,
I will not use it, Jason I be.

And don’t tell ME the Mac is dead,
Ścause frankly, that makes me see red.
Just who spoons out this shit you’re fed?
Oh, Bill Gates, I think I said,
who whored himself and got in bed
with IBM, so full of dread,
well Mac still leads, as Mac has led,
so GET IT THROUGH YOUR FUCKING HEAD!
And burn it on your own CD,
I will not use your d iamn PC!

And I know it’s Windows down at work...
but whaddya expect from those lousy jerks?
Who in their quest to save a cent
invented middle management?
Heads up their asses, worried about taxes,
they can’t even send their own damn faxes.
That’s how Dilbert came to be!
And they’re going to choose a computer for me?

I will not use their damn PC,
I will not use it, Jason I be.

“Oh, I’ve got the solution!” you proudly say,
“Make all your troubles go away!
No more bullshit, no c: drive,
two words -- Windows 95.”

AUGH!
The very thought just gives me hives!

I will not use your damn PC,
I will not use it, Jason I be.

I will not use it in my house,
I won’t use that two-button mouse,
and if you think my poem crass,
well guess what, folks... you can KISS MY ASS!
For I will not use your damn PC,
I will not use it, Jason... I... be!





Scars Publications


Copyright of written pieces remain with the author, who has allowed it to be shown through Scars Publications and Design.Web site © Scars Publications and Design. All rights reserved. No material may be reprinted without express permission from the author.




Problems with this page? Then deal with it...