< after the accident >
ray heinrich
i started with a monkey
and he worked fine for a few months
even though i could not dictate to him
(for fear of what had happened the first time)
any sexually explicit material
but then he started editing my writing
this wasn't so bad
(he was actually quite good)
but eventually he started writing his own stuff
and refused to type mine at all
next
i turned to my a dog
but she took forever to train
and was extremely slow
so i obtained a ferret
hoping to speed things up
and yes
he was fast
but (unlike my dog)
it was impossible to train him to fetch my beer
then one night the dog ate him
saving me from having to find a good home for him
for beer
it turns out
will get you through times of slow poetry
better than poetry
will get you through times of no beer
