Chris insists we call him Brodie
he calls us dude
every one of us
dude
he speaks with a Southern California
surk bum accent
even though he’s never been
west of Iowa
and the closest he’s ever come
to “hanging ten”
is glapping around on a boogie board
at the local water park
and if that’s not reason enough
to hate his fucking guts
his girlfriend is the exceedingly
beautiful young woman by the
name of Christina who is
personable, successful, and
possesses a tanned hard body
specifically sculpted for
bikini wear
yet she’s totally oblivious
to his rampant stupidity
she even calls him Brodie
and her loyalty is as
unwavering as his accent
I hope they both contract
cancer and their deaths
are drawn-out and painful
