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OH THOSE FRENCH

Tom Kretz


As the train slipped Barcelona
Curled up the way it all began
Fail-safe in woolly womb of dream

The Jesuitical tour guide
Never slept and had no pity
On rough goldbricks needing their eight

Ragged from a week in a cave
Wrestling with hot demons of hell
As well as the cooler angels

Insomniac shook me awake
Took me to an eagle's villa
Above the horn of St Tropez

Left me alone on Cannes business
With Raquel Welch's first cousin
Almost everything once removed.

I worked once as nurse in OB
But not in France on Ms BB
Here I was having IV pain

Distressing to feel like a boob
Among so many exposed breasts
So best to pretend I rarely

Have my quiche that way for breakfast
Guessing what Ignatius would do
I flew into the black swan pool

Swam around like Mr Dolphin bored
Ignored commands to somersault
Wiggle over for a dead fish

When darkness rose the owl came back
With tickets to the Festival
Hugs for me and baby sister.

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