I Am Not A Team Player
By Cynthia Arbuthnot
I am not a team player. Other people may think I am arrogant, antisocial, and rude, but I am not. I just like to do my own thing my way, and if other people think that there is anything wrong with that, then they are wrong. I do not judge them by saying that they are communistic, socialistic, and nosy. Therefore, why should they have the right to say cruel things about me just because I prefer to do things the way I want them done, all by myself.
Even when I was a child, I was this way. My grandmother once told me that when my children are in school, I should get a job just to be around other people. My mother and grandmother are not great people’s persons, either, and my grandmother blames this on the fact that they were homemakers for so many years. In Grandma’s case, perhaps, but I do not think my mother was ever a people’s person.
My mother is just quiet and tends to like to do things like sew, read, garden, and spend time with her cats. A lot of people would say that she is reclusive, but what is wrong with that? I think that if you enjoy spending time alone, there is nothing wrong with it. For some people, like my aunt (a realtor), there would be something wrong, because my aunt likes to be in the company of people all the time. To be in the company of people all the time would drive my mother crazy.
My mother is not as reclusive as other people think, either. She is a beautician who works with other people all day long. She has the Type B personality needed in order to do this job and enjoy it. I, on the other hand, am more of a Type A person who would get impatient with people complaining and have to go to something else fairly soon. I think my mother has earned her free time alone with her books, cats, garden, and crafts.
I think the main problem certain members of my family have with Grandma is that she calls them almost daily and wants them to come over to visit. Grandma tends to get a little upset when no one will come visit her. Therefore, her arthritis or Parkinson’s get a little worse. I know that she has problems with these things, but what I do not know is whether or not she plays them up in order to get company. There are some members of my family who say yes, and others who say no. I say that she is Grandma, therefore, she should get respect from her offspring and attention.
I do not feel that I am antisocial or anything like that. To me, antisocial behavior consists of things like vandalism and maliciousness toward other people or animals. I am not malicious or destructive. I just do not like people around me all of the time. I like sports that feature individuals competing against each other as opposed to sports where teams compete against other teams. I am a very competitive person at heart, so I am not a reclusive person. How can someone be competitive and reclusive at the same time?
When I was in high school and college, I tended to choose passive partners for projects that called for “lab partners.” My reason for this was simple: I like to do things by myself and feel that other people slow me down. My passive partner took notes while I did the project and dictated what he/she should write down. This way, we both learned something from the project while at the same time doing what we liked to do best. This is the part where other people who do not understand would say that I am an arrogant person. I am not arrogant. I just like to do things my way and get what I feel are the best results for my partner and me. Invariably, the people I chose did not want to do the “hands on” part of the lab, and I liked that part the most, so this worked out well for both of us.
To summarize, some people are social animals. These people enjoy having other people around all the time and are stimulated by the interpersonal activities going on. Other people like to be left alone to pursue their own agendas. These people are stimulated by the pursuit of things they feel are important not only to them, but possibly to other people who may reap the benefits later. There is nothing wrong with either viewpoint, because they are both viewpoints and the people who follow them are happy and healthy people.
