It is amazing,
What one can find to engross oneself in these days.
It is also amazing,
That I could fit 100 razor blades in my mouth at once.
Chewing is diffucult, and eventually they chew me in return.
Their silver surface slides between my teeth, like floss
And just keeps going,
To get that kinda clean that dental products aspire to,
But just can't furnish.
Some even find their way right through my cheeks,
And fall to the floor in a converging pool of blood.
Razors are crunchy, gritty. They're grinding my teeth,
And mutilating my gums, making my gingivitis jealous.
Then I swallow about a quarter of them,
They slide down my esophagus, skirting over my trachea,
Creating unalloyed bliss!
Slice, slice. Cut, cut. It feels like I'm drinking blood,
Oh yeah, I guess I really am!
I wonder how many calories these fuckers have, I am dieting,
My insides feel all funny, I think I need some Pepto.
But first I have to piss. Whoa!
Blood stream like the fucking Mississippi!
Right outta my cock.
Damn that was great. So full now,
I recommend razors late at night,
Because they are apt to make you drowsy.
