Notes on a Scenario
chris mckinnon
A woman drives
her husband crazy
plays
practical jokes?
on him.
First she
determines an act
reproduces it
then sets it to paper.
She stacks toilet paper
atop his shaving stuff
so it falls
when
he moves
the rolls
--she plops a Heinz bottle
upside down
in the fridge
so it falls
out
when he pops
the door
--she chugalugs
siphons
creme sherry
bozenberry booze
waters it
by half
--so he thinks
he’s drunk
or drunk
it already
--she stuffs
his hairbrush
in an argyle
--sneers at
whispers about
how sloven
(half-plowed)
he looks
(to her friends)
bySprint
--then disconnects
as he enters
kitchen
--her territory
--they ring him
hang up
-- a broken
connection
to break him
--she sprinkles sand
in laundrywater
dumps extra booster
soapflakes
in his
jockeys for men
--she moves
in pastel condo
-small ceramic ashtrays
sets of unisex longjohns
velour towels from racks
and swears
she doesn’t
--sez her
husband must
just forget
--switches
calendar dates
--dates men
from his
calendar
--has a
friend
vacuums
Eureka!
while he peers
at thirtysomeone
--then sobs
when he snaps
--charbroils chicken
as it boils
(boy is he burned)
--cooks meals for
wheels
--dusts
chess pieces
--moves blackknight
over just
one
space
--rehangs
Van Gogh’s
on adjacentwall
where he
views it
when she
moves it
back
--departs
at midnight
--pulls up
emergency brake
on his Merc
--leaves one door
unlocked
and
dome light
on
--deflates
a whitewall
with a long nail
--rubs
lemonoil
thick
on spindleback
chair
(where he sits)
--double creases
his pants
just past
their original crease
---crows
offkey
as she
rinses out
his wool blazers
then dries them
at top heat
--matches
his socks
to the nearest
black or navy or brown
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