Don't be sorry
Vincent Augustine Cancasci
http://hometown.aol.com/sinserepoetry/
It’s funny how time flies, even when you’re not having fun. One minute you’re a bushy haired fifteen year old, whose only concern in life is where he’s going to get the next five dollar bill, to go to Skating Plus. The next minute life is slapping you across the face with a cold wet towel, and your waking up to realize that your twenty-one, you have two kids, a ring on your finger, a mountain of debt, and rents due in seventy-two hours and counting.
Welcome to my life. Take no prisoners. Perhaps your thinking to yourself, “ Oh look, another article put together by some whiney welfare brat with a knack for words, who shouldn’t have had kids in the first place!” It’s O.K., I don’t blame you. That was the kind of person that everyone had pegged me to become. I was placed in a state of confusion where my only options seemed to be doomed. I could either split, and leave the girl to raise the child (which was just way too trendy for my taste) or I could become a statistic of our society and forever live off of other tax payer’s donations.
Much to the disbelief of my friends and family, I chose neither. This is my personal gift to every teenager who has ever or will ever be put in the position that I found myself in. This is just a ray of hope that there are other options in life, and our parents aren’t always 100% correct. Sometimes you have to here it from someone who has lived and breathed the life that has been deemed impossible and ill fated. This is my story, and more important, this is my life.
At eighteen years old, I decided that I was not only going to accept the fact that I had to wake up and smell the coffee, but I had to drink it too. No matter how hard it was to swallow, and no matter how times I wanted to spit it out. I dug way into my past and searched for some inkling of talent that I could possibly use as a backbone to support a family. I wasn’t very athletic, and as close to Hollywood as Ventura is, I didn’t think I was gonna make it as an actor. It took me about seven hours, four Red Bulls and at least one pack of Marlboros to realize what it was. I was a talker.
It seemed so little to build on at the time, but now that I look back at it, it was a world of opportunity at my fingertips. I figured that if I could talk my way into a job, why not just keep on talking, and see how far I could get myself. What did I have to lose? This time I was going to see just how far my big mouth could get me. Well it got me far enough. It got me an appointment with a sales firm called Colorado Prime. The only thing I knew about sales was that it paid nine dollars an hour and you could earn something they called a commission.
The interview was set up in front of a board of regional managers. I stood there, dodging the obviously bewildered stares, in front of this room of big shots and suits, and proceeded to fast-talk my way right into a position in their staff. Little me, fully equipped with my clip on tie, and hand me down Pro Wings, was to become a real life (drum roll) sales representative. For the first time in my life I realized that if I really wanted something that bad, all I had to do was go out there and get it. There was nobody holding me back and there sure wasn’t anybody who doubted my need.
You might be asking yourself why I am choosing to reveal this little tid bit of personal information to tens of thousands of strangers, and the answer is simple. Inspiration is a necessity. Today I look around Ventura, Oxnard, and my own neighborhood even, and all I see is young adults who are finding themselves in the same situation as me. There in this state of utter terror because society has drilled it into their heads that life has a designated chain of events. Society says that if you skip a step in this chain, by having kids to early, you are not only ruining your life, but your straining everyone around you as well. Young kids everywhere are being forced into marriage by their parents and taught to believe that once the baby is born, they’re own dreams and ambitions will never prosper. They are told that that for the eighteen years every breath they take will be put towards that child and not themselves, I am writing this to tell you that Society is wrong!
I am twenty-one, I do have two kids, I have a great job, I am married, and guess whatÉ.I have life. Not a bad one either. I have a beautiful two and a half year old son named Anthony, and the sweetest little girl you ever laid eyes on named Bailey- Nicolette. I still have plenty of friends, some old and some new. I frequently go out, and I am actively persuing college along with my wife Danielle.
None of my dreams or ambitions have been banished to some far off island. I haven’t ruined anyone’s life, especially not my own. All I did was enhance my future with love. While most parents who have children my age are at home worrying about what their teenager is out there doing, my parents are relieved of those worries. My parents know that I would never jeopardize my life like that because of my kids.
Sometimes I wish I could go stand out on Main St., or set up shop at the Pacific View mall, and scream through a loud speaker that it’s not a bad thing to be a teenage parent. It may be an unplanned activity, but from constant reminder, it is a blessing in disguise. All it takes is a little support from those around you, for you to make it on your own. Trust me, I was that bad kid you hear about, I was out breaking all the rules, I was never anything to brag about in high school, but I did it, and I continue doing it day in and day out without hesitation or thought.
Whenever it gets tough, or I start to think of how my life could have been, I envision my son waiting by the window of my apartment at five P.M., for Daddy to come home from work. When my key hits the door, his face lights up, and he runs to greet me. I set down my suitcase, and lift all 30 lbs. of him into the air, and I squeeze. He puts his little lips to my ear and says in a language that only parents can decipher, “I love you”. That’s what keeps me going, and for the mere fact that I may have let some people down in my past, I will always be that little boys hero, that’s what makes it worth it.
It always strikes me as funny, when I introduce myself to someone, and they apologize when they find out that I’m a father of two. They act as if it should be a given for this nonsense to be protruding from their mouth. I always give these people the same response, knowing that they too have fell victim to society. “Don’t be sorry”, I say “I’m not, and I’m having the time of my life.”
