Occupational Hazard
Todd Matson
“If you keep crossing your eyes
they’ll stay that way”
she said when I was a child
and her words still echo
inside my brain
as I wonder if the same applies
to my almost incessant smiling
the occupational hazard to which
I am subjected day in and day out
move over back injury
no heavy lifting for me
step back tennis elbow
wish I had time to develop tennis elbow
stand aside carpal tunnel syndrome
the “widgets” expected of me
sermons, presentations, appearances, visits
only stress my facial muscles
almost continuously
until I am suffering from a
traumatic stress disorder
“carpal facial syndrome” if you will
and I fear my face will stay this way
I feel like I am the bride and groom
in a wedding which never ends
the processional, the ceremony
the recessional, the receiving line
going on forever
with greetings from a
relentless line of smiling faces
which expect
demand smiles in return
at times I feel my face getting harder
almost brittle
and I fear it may start to crack
break, crumble away
unless I give these exhausted
exploited muscles in my face
a much needed rest
like when I am alone with that one
who still knows and accepts me
when I am not smiling
when I remove my smile
like a mask
and let my face show
and catch a glimpse of it
in the mirror of the eyes
of that one
and see
that it is still beautiful