Green
Todd Matson
he is green
and wet behind the ears
with idealism in tact
unadulterated by the
realities of parish life
oblivious to any notion of
burnout among pastors
naive about how lonely
pastors can be
and about what a sacrifice
it can be to be one
he is green with envy
that his parishioners with
their high school diplomas
make more money
live in better houses
have more friends
than he ever will
with his divinity degree
and black robe
with his stained glass
surroundings, voice, persona
he is green with a sort of
glorified motion sickness
as he rides the tides of the lives
of the people in the pews
with their personal
familial and congregational
celebrations and tragedies
politics and conflicts
as he navigates through the rocks
of competing claims for his
time, energy, allegiance
as he surrenders long weekends
away with his family
to be with the families of others
as he struggles to avoid
the shipwreck of his own soul
he is green with a form of
psychological
spiritual asphyxiation
as he contemplates the day
when he becomes fertilizer
and does what fertilizer does
as it gives itself up completely
so that someone else
can walk in pastures of green
