making it
C Ra McGuirt
allen’s little brother
andy used to ride
his big wheel around the garage
while allen and me
and david and phillip
practiced being progressive, artistic
seventies rock musicians.
18 years later
andy’s roller over
us all:
a $20,000 contract
with an independent
record label.
visions of mtv
flicker in his eyes.
andy’s already decided
which of his songs
will make the best
soundtracks for commercials,
after he’s bigger than jackson,
george michael, and maybe
elvis.
allen’s working for the state
during the day. he plays at night.
andy doesn’t understand
why allen chooses to use
moog and mirage, software, soul
masks and dancers, movement, mime
darkness, color, silence and light
to make such chump change at his art
when he could be playing something
a lot of people would like.
allen understands he can’t make andy
understand that lots of people like
what they hear because it’s all they hear,
and all they’re likely to be allowed to hear
without some sort of effort
on their part.
allen’s producing a tape for me -
mostly songs, and some poetry
so i’m frequently at his place
and i saw andy the other night
for the second time or so
since the big wheel days.
“congratulations on the new career,”
i said, and added that it was good
to see that success was possible.
andy said: “it isn’t hard.
it’s only a business, after all.”
we promised to exchange our final products.
he went on, and i went in
to get to work on mine.
now i come before you
with my art,
wondering if and how
anyone will remember
allen, andy, or c ra
a hundred years from now.
i’m not sure it’s important,
so long as i remember
all the words
tonight.
