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arrowhead

you’re used to seeing it, you know
people killing each other one the streets

all of my friends carry guns
i started carrying knives when i was eight

the blade looked like an arrowhead
and the t-shaped handle
fit between the knuckles in my palm

i was tough for a girl, i guess

i’ve only killed one person
it was when i was fourteen

there’s one mad rush of panic
then you just finish the job
and run like hell

that’s why i’m in this house, you see
they couldn’t put me in jail

they’ve taught me a lot here

at first
i didn’t want to get away from it all
from the violence
it was what i knew
it was what i expected

and then
someone killed my sister
and i knew what they were all
talking about
i missed her

suddenly i knew
i made someone else
feel that

i learned
what guilt and remorse were
and ever since
i’ve wanted to get out


Copyright Janet Kuypers.
All rights reserved. No material
may be reprinted without express permission.

Blister and Burn, Janet Kuypers 2007 book the book S&M by Janet Kuypers in 2007 the book Close Cover Before Striking