[the Writing of Kuypers]    [JanetKuypers.com]    [Bio]    [Poems]    [Prose]


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afé in Chicago 06/22/10
40 chapbook
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of part two of the “40” show live at the Café w/ this piece 06/22/10
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of part 2 of the “40” show w/ camera 2 @ the Café w/ this piece 06/22/10
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from camera #1 as a downloadable mp4 file, live at the Café w/ this piece 06/22/10, from the Internet Archive.
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from camera #2 as a downloadable mp4 file, live at the Café w/ this piece 06/22/10, from the Internet Archive.
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of this poem read live at the 07/19/11 open mic at the Café in Chicago (for her book Close Cover Before Striking)
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of the intro to the 07/19/11 open mic at the Café in Chicago, & 3 poems (including this one) from her book Close Cover Before Striking
video See YouTube video of Janet KuypersBook Release Reading 4/5/17 of cc&d book poetry in Austin’s National Poetry Month Community Poetry at Half Price Books, including “Viewing the Woman in a 19th Century Photograph” from the Statue, “I’m Really Going This Time” from Give What You Can, “Human Construct of Time” from Sea Drift, “White Knuckled” from Forever Bound, “Entire Town’s Baseball Team” from Suggested Torture, “Jabbed in an Open Nerve” from Idea, “Observing Theories of the Universe” from Idea, and “Entering the Lake of Fire” from Nighttime City (this video was filmed from a Canon Power Shot SX700 camera; posted on Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, Pinterest, Instagram, and Tumblr). #janetkuypers #janetkuyperspoetry #janetkuypersbookreading
video See YouTube video of Janet KuypersBook Release Reading 4/5/17 of cc&d book poetry in Austin’s National Poetry Month Community Poetry at Half Price Books, including “Viewing the Woman in a 19th Century Photograph” from the Statue, “I’m Really Going This Time” from Give What You Can, “Human Construct of Time” from Sea Drift, “White Knuckled” from Forever Bound, “Entire Town’s Baseball Team” from Suggested Torture, “Jabbed in an Open Nerve” from Idea, “Observing Theories of the Universe” from Idea, and “Entering the Lake of Fire” from Nighttime City (this video filmed from a Canon Power Shot SX700 camera and given a Posterize filter).

i’m really going this time

i pack my bags
say i’m really going this time

you throw my bags
scream at me to leave

before you get more violent
and you mean it this time

i’m sitting in my car
outside the hotel

see you at the window
holding the drapes back

why do i have to think
that means you care?

why do i come back,
asking you if you realize

what you’ve done to me,
if you realize what

you’re about to lose.
i’ll bet you think

you’ll call me once
and everything will be

forgotten. other times,
yes, i’ve forgiven you.

i’ve come back. but i
can’t take being thrown

to the ground, strangled.
when i realize what i

lost that night, i’m
scared. but i have to

remember that you
lost more. you lost me.

i’m really going this time,
and you won’t see me again.

carry this with you,
always. this pain, like

the pain you’ve given me.
you won’t see me. carry this.


Copyright Janet Kuypers.
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