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Where Else Would I Be

Janet Kuypers, 09/08/06 #1

mom was in her second round of chemo
and the hospital was 55 miles away

so I couldn’t visit daily,
only weekly

so I’d call every day
to see how she was doing

and one day
I called in the afternoon

and she answered,
in a panicked voice

it sounded like she was crying,
and she said to me in a rushed tone,

“Call back in an hour”
I said okay, and she hung up the phone

my husband was home from work early
so he saw me in a panic from the call

we even drew a bath for me
to try to calm me down

and I told him what she said,
what she sounded like

and he tried to think
of every possibility

of why she sounded that way: maybe
she heard that her sister, my Aunt Sally died,

maybe she
maybe she got bad news about her health

but he tried to prepare me
for whatever mom was going to say

when I called her back

I kept checking the clock
and after almost exactly an hour, I called

mom sounded fine,
and before she explained anything to me,

she said,
“I’m glad you called me back”

of course I’d call back —
what else could I do?

and I responded in shock,
why wouldn’t I call her back?

I wanted to know what the problem was
and she told me

she had a bad reaction
to the medication they just gave her

and her teeth were chattering
and she couldn’t speak

so the nurses were coming
to give her something for the side effects

so she was fine
and I had nothing to worry about

###

mom was doing well
for having only so many months to live

we had high hopes for her
and thought she could beat the odds,

doctors said two to six
months, but maybe up to a year

and she was almost in remission
from the first round if chemo

so we were sure she could survive
for over a year if she wanted to

and so I planned a trip
to see my parents at their home in Florida

my oldest sister planned to visit
one month later

we had all these great plans

but dad called, less than a week
before I was flying to see them

said mom’s not doing well
I should change my flight, come earlier

lucky me, hurricane Ernesto
was coming, I mean, it is hurricane season

so I scheduled my flight
for the first day the airlines would let me

my mom died
while that hurricane was coming through

when violence was supposed to hit
our shores, our home, bring destruction

but the hurricane
didn’t touch shore, so we were safe

well, even though my mom died
they were as safe as they could be

and all of the brothers and sisters
rushed to my mom and dad’s home,

too say good bye to mom
to be there for dad

and all of the neighbors
kept seeing us there, giving condolences

and most of them said to us,
it’s good that you could be here

and our response is always,
where else would we be

I stayed longer
to help my dad function

without mom

and still, people see me and say
it’s good that you could stay here

and my response is always,
where else would I be


Copyright © 2006 Janet Kuypers.

U.S. Government Copyright © 2004
Chicago Poet Janet Kuypers
on all art and all writings on this site completed
before 6/6/04. All rights reserved. No material
may be reprinted without express permission.


the book The Beauty and the Destruction the book Distinguished Writings the cc&d v170.5 issue release of Kuypers' writings in the 2006 book  Distinguished Writings

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