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That Adorable Together 2005

started 12/15/98, converted to prose 09/27/05

There are times when you feel like the world is crashing all around you... and there are times when you get a glimmer of hope. And it is at times like those when you cling on to those glimmers of hope.
You have to hope for something, you know.
And now that I live here again and I see the places I used to frequent. I think of all the bad things that have happened to me. Well, sometimes, when I think of the things that could go wrong in life I oddly enough still come to you in my head. Not that you were wrong — you weren’t — I think that I was so wrong for letting you go.
I think of all the nice things you used to do for me I think of the way you used to be so good to me you acted like you cared. Maybe at the time you didn’t know any better and maybe at the time I didn’t know any better either.
Oh, what am I saying, still looking back... I think about how cute you were and how nice you were.
I wasn’t looking for the football player type and you just happened to be that adorable and even though I didn’t know any better I still knew that you were a good guy and you were worth it.
Yes, I might have made you suffer and I never meant to. My friend andy in school called you Mister Superman because he never saw you and he knew you were a football player and he heard me rave about you so incessantly. So the chance to associate your name with your face, so Mister Superman you were.
I still have photos of you. Ones I used to keep in my wallet because I was not willing to let go over every image of you.
Well, not that fast, that is.
I remember how you met me and my friend Ellen at a hotel in Champaign Illinois. I was able to use the excuse “I need to see the town before I decide to go there for school” routine, but for me it was just another opportunity to see you, and I didn’t care about the guy that drove with you and I don’t know if we were too cutesy around each other in front of your friend and in front of my friend Ellen...
I don’t know if we were that adorable together
There are so many stories I could tell about you about how smart you were, about how strong you were.
After all this time that has passed, I almost feel that it’s not necessary for me to tell these stories out loud again, because I know these stories in my heart. So maybe I just have to keep a gold hold of that lock box — of my soul — and try to cherish those memories with you forever,


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