I’m Not Sick But I’m Not Well

I’m not sick but I’m not well
the doctors find nothing wrong with me
and believe me, they’ve taken the x-rays
they’ve striped me down
and made me wear one of those awful paper robes
and they’ve felt me up
and checked me out
and found what they were looking for
but didn’t find anything I was looking for

I’m not sick but I’m not well
and I can’t help but think
that everything I’m doing to make things better
might only be making things worse
so I don’t want to listen to what
you have to say anymore
and I want this IV out of my arm
and I want this oxygen tube out from my nose
and I want this suppository out of my ass
and I want you to get that scalpel away from me
because I want everything I’ve got

I’m not sick but I’m not well
and they want me if they can keep me in line
and they want me if they can cut me open
and take out my insides
and suck out the fat
and suck out the life
and make me generic
and make me dependent
make me unreal
make me not whole
and I’ve walked that line with all you doctors
and I want all my parts back
and I want to be healthy

no, I’m not sick and maybe I’m not well
but you’re only making me worse
I don’t have the answers but neither do you
so instead of tearing me apart
and dissecting me
and studying the bones
let me just stay together for a while
until I figure it all out

OEUVRE

Scars Publications and Design
Editor@scars.tv
http://scars.tv

in conjunction with Penny Dreadful Press
and assistance from Freedom & Strength Foundation, Troy Press, Hawthorne Press & Dried Roses Press

first edition
printed in the United States of America

copyright @ 2004 Scars Publications and Design
writings @ 1979-2004 Janet Kuypers
book design @ 1998-2004 Scars Publications and Design

    This book, as a whole, is fiction, and no correlation should be made between events in the book and events in real life. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping, or by any information storage or retrieval system, without the permission in writing from the publisher.

    Information about past books is available upon request through Scars Publications and Design. Materials from the literary magazines “Children, Churches and Daddies” and “Down in the Dirt” are available on line at http://scars.tv, as are .mp3 files, .ra files, .aif files, .au files, .wav files .mov and mpeg files of Kuypers, both reading her work and singing with three sets of musicians.

    Oeuvre is published through Scars Publications and Design, whose publisher is a member/minister through the Universal Life Church. Scars Publications and Design, the logo and associated graphics @ 1979 - 2004. All rights reserved. Kuypers and Scars Publications and Design welcome your comments, tips, compliments or complaints. Direct all comments and suggestions to the e-mail addresses listed above.

    The definition of oeuvre (the works of a writer, painter, or the like, taken as a whole) is from the Websters Unabridged 2001 Dictionary.