Bitter Words
Steph Watson
I once had a dream
Of rosy faces,
Staring out
From a rosy past.
But this dream my love,
It faded out.
I don’t suppose
It was meant to last.
We smile and stare
But we break our word,
I don’t suppose
You even heard
Or understood,
What bitter flame
Kindles above,
The dying embers
Of our love.
I Dream A Lie
Steph Watson
I cry alone, and dream a lie
Which is forever coaxing me
To leave,
This thoughtless, passionless
Sham of loveliness,
That I die screaming in.
As A Child.
Steph Watson
When I was a child,
My life was so young.
Filled with too many ideas,
Built up over years of inexperience.
Times I never lived in.
It was all so well planned,
And wealth fell into our hands.
We soon learn to throw it all away.
So many dreams that were washed away
With the sleepmen,
Eager to cast away the burden of love.
With warmth stemming from the heart,
And lives not stemming from the intellect.
Closed in world
Never stopping for a moment
To think about the rest of it.
Now there’s too many ‘hollow men’
Smiling at the disbelievers,
Laughing at the snow, not with it.
Then they all go away
And it doesn’t matter anymore.
Face the wall
And close your eyes.
It’ll all go away.
Portmeirion Days
Steph Watson
Once lived in worlds
Cannot be recreated.
Hollowness of echoed surrounds,
Surrounding the story.
Stone walls to hold in
The fairytale bygone.
Lillypond and fountain.
Fields of children
Grown strong in the sun,
Cannot bode for sadness.
So stay a while,
And dream in this place of life,
Death.
And of those engulfed in the making.
Untitled
Steph Watson
When we were together,
We were deliriously sad.
I think it’s mad
That love can make you do that.
Depression!
Steph Watson
Protected youth, you ran away with me.
But we have not climbed enough mountains,
Nor were they always high enough.
Nightmare lock-tight daydreams.
Nothing is real.
Fear of staying here forever.
Romantic repetition, clearly misunderstood.
All is not well the child in me cried,
But the listeners had all turned to stone.
They glare down
And I imagine Medusa with eight legs of my own devil.
Was there always
So much hurt from us?
Were we all screaming
So long ago my love?
Hollow Faces.
Steph Watson
As I looked into the faces, of the helpless sprawling races,
I saw a hollow smile.
There was fire in the eyes, but the heart was empty sighs,
Of the unknown child.
And like lovers after dark, he was caught up in the spark,
Of tiny whispers.
But the earth rose up too soon and was hidden by the moon
Of secret notions.
Scent.
Steph Watson
Seasons come to me in the air of midnight.
Not with dreams, but scent.
Now is the time for danger,
Crackling with the excitement of mist.
It’s the feeling of new time,
Remembered from old.
Re-emerge from chrysalis state
Into a new warmth.
Burning fires in the darker night
Of memory.
Fare-thee-well
Steph Watson
This easy bottle, easy life
Of now,
Of easy lie.
So read between the lines
Of all these Chinese whispers,
And find the truth.
These long limbed days
Of used to be.
So fare-thee-well.
Starlets
Steph Watson
Those joy-full days of long ago.
Of short laughter in long corridors.
Was then, is now
The life we led.
We all.
We diversified starlets.
So changed.
So far apart.
Close to the other
Steph Watson
Floating down a river
Like a stone.
The brook bubbles over.
Like a space on the wall,
I stare out
Into this black-stuff called hope.
Although this lady-kind object of disbelief
Rears aside of loveliness,
We yearn for her.
Run down the stairs
And out of the door,
To drown
In the whole crazy day.
Drift Away
Steph Watson
Drift away my love.
This day so well remembered
Fades.
For tomorrow is my ‘net of gold’,
And we cannot beg forgiveness.
Rise high my love.
This sky, so far away
Now.
And don’t begrudge me mine,
For I may always love you.
Beyond The Blue
Steph Watson
Beyond the blue
Inside the mind,
Is where I wander.
Wrenched from this place
Is a physical ache.
Submerged in confusion
Of the dreams we lived by.
Pass me by
This state of panic,
And leave me
With no idea of where to go.
Autumn
Steph Watson
Autumn falls around us,
Making not a sound.
Leaving sheets of golden leaves
Like sunshine on the ground.
Gnarled old fingers beckon
From the boughs of burning trees.
While whispered thoughts of summer,
Float past us on the breeze.
Full Stop.
Steph Watson
All my life
I used to fear forever,
Until a question mark
Approached me.
So small,
Understated,
It grew into an exclamation mark.
Strong, adamant, resolute.
How great is the change?
Only forever will know.
Daydream
Steph Watson
Drown out waves
On the love swept sand,
In the corner of my mind
Reserved for dancing.
The peace that we still call death
Forever creeping,
Like seaweed wrapping slowly round my feet
Dragging under, under.
Until I wake up
And am again amazed.
Spirit.
Steph Watson
My spirit moves me.
So do I then move, my love.
Like the child returning to
Her mother earth.
Then sing me.
To flicker on the candles edge
Of rage.
So delicate it smiles,
And snuffs out the ire.
You smoothly glide across
My own lake of pretensions
And tear it apart for ripples.
Can you then rid this vine
Of all its life
Do you enjoy the grapes
That crush beneath your hand?
So let it move my love,
And I will move with it.
Vino
Steph Watson
Gently, gently,
Remember this shared union.
Stateless affair,
Fatherless anecdote
Surrounded by prose.
Arms stretched out
To forever and ever.
Tiny mutations
Which suddenly feel
So alive so.
I lived longer
And this is my excuse.
Now no-one faces me
But empty you.
Kites.
Steph Watson
Wavering heights, grown low
On subdued apathy.
Pitch this whimpering scream
Closer to our eyes.
We are clinched
In this stranglehold of passion.
Defying the mountains
And reaching the end.
Left, with our kites
On the same side as the sunshine.
Angel
Steph Watson
Golden image,
Fly away.
Follow my minds eye
Inside.
Scattered green,
So beautiful in one startling glance.
Far-away story,
Broken by shattered fragments
Of a dream once real.
For what it’s worth.
Steph Watson
Silver glitters.
Less painful,
Less worthy,
More soul.
Doll.
Steph Watson
Oh little doll, do not fear,
For I won’t take your man away.
Oh little man, do not fear,
For I won’t steal your sunshine.
Harshness cast its wicked spell,
And softness died beside it.
I cried for all the hate and love,
And they all screamed out
For destruction,
Of me.
Forgiveness
Steph Watson
If I were a rich man,
There would be no time for dancing.
If I could walk on the sea,
People may stare and cast shadows
On my ignorance.
The world may glance at my forgiveness,
But I would stand alone.
Anger.
Steph Watson
Just real bloody angry.
That’s how I feel.
800 mile guilt trip, such fun alone.
Happy times so far away,
Seems impossible.
What do you wear
Around your neck my love?
Was once.
Defend yourself.
Demand of yourself such perfection.
Stupid words of angry pride.
It no longer flows.
Makes me sad.
Such hollow men make me wary.
Such despondency leaves me
Lonely.
Postcard.
Steph Watson
The beauteous wonder of production.
The perfect flatness of the mountains.
The serenity of a gentle breeze.
Shining, dull and calm.
All is captured
In one moment of exposure.
Mirage expressed through seasons,
Not deception.
Blind eyes turn.
Contradiction.
Steph Watson
I have in mind two different lovers.
One adds excitement,
The other security.
Contradictions they are,
But both necessary.
Sea Creatures
Steph Watson
Oh mock me sky.
Your joyful departure,
Leaves us all rainwashed.
Sad eyes blind me,
Bind us to your everlasting presence.
Their effete mumbling
Left me cold.
The sea born creature in you
Remained unimpressed.
The Picture.
Steph Watson
Time, alive, age
Of the doubt
That grows in me now.
Remembering vaguely
The whispers of something more.
Roles reversed.
You need not fear the season.
You always stood alone,
Wanting nothing more
Than freedom.
But how is it now
That you need shed no tears?
And I am not later
Just opposite.
The answers all rose for you.
You needed no deception.
You needed nothing.
Did that include something
That I couldn’t escape from?
The fight became harder,
The road became longer,
The wall was built.
Trust.
Steph Watson
I left the window open
And the day crept in.
I left the curtains open
And the night crept in.
The sky embraces me.
Stars, as my lovers
Shine and fade.
One remains.
I opened my heart,
You crept out through the door.
Old man.
Steph Watson
The old man walked through my dream
And shattered the silence.
Built up over the years
Was like a heaven.
Too fantastic to look through,
Too hapless to ignore.
So I stared at the man
And saw that he was dying.
Wanderers.
Steph Watson
In this I sense they draw away.
True wanderers of the Northern Lights.
We may have missed your
Passion.
But teach us with your
Knowledge,
All that makes us
So imperfect.
Observation.
Steph Watson
Comparatively dour,
This situation is endless.
Was before, is now.
A sleeping child.
The epitome of the struggle
Surrounding it.
The sequined clown of goodnights.
Our mister dream-maker
Is still alive.
The Struggle.
Steph Watson
Break quick fall
Down of silk.
Red hot bulls
Of strangers.
Re-arrange this symmetry
Of unrehearsed sole.
Shout to keep ahead
Above the water.
Drown high
On the clouds.
Daydream
Steph Watson
Sunshine smiles on rainbow faces
Of the angels in my mind.
Winding it all out to nothing.
Skip-back time of youth and loveliness.
Concealed pressure, absent lives.
All too fantastic to describe.
We all string out the plain.
We’re all lost to each other
In this fiasco that we call comfort.
Waste each minute,
There may be a tomorrow when it’s all over.
Life.
Steph Watson
The foggy embers of passion.
Timeless pace of the flame,
Kindled.
We burn, we drown,
To emerge in this vortex of feeling,
Reborn oh mother.
Turn to the apathetic soul
And tell him how you lived.
Loss.
Steph Watson
My friend, I think perhaps
It’s time for us to part
Again.
We hurt each other so.
We do not understand this
Love me lovelessness
That we lie choked in.
I cannot stand this hurt
That hurts you too.
This does not feel
Like the end of something good.
Do I cry for what I loose now
Or
For what I lost years agoÉ
Climbing Frame
Steph Watson
My climbing frame of mind
Twisting round the problems,
Leaving nothing but empty spaces
Where my life should have been.
Bitter Anger.
Steph Watson
Bitter anger,
Courage returns
To fight another day.
Another way.
Cowering lifeless,
Deflated by the moment,
Defeated by the heat.
Harsh softness deadens.
Soft harshness kills.
Embittered soul returns,
Burns,
Ends.
Storm.
Steph Watson
I wish you’d go out
And leave me alone
With my thunder storm.
Black shadows,
Dancing rainbows.
It all opens up,
As the sky cries out
It’s profound threats.
Its all so dangerous,
so extreme.
We push it to the limits,
But we cannot hide,
As like everything else,
It always finds us.
It rips up the roots
And carries us along,
Through the traps of adolescence.
Until it finds some empty corner
In which to die.
Centre.
Steph Watson
Loss of touch,
Lost identity
In a faceless soul. Image of faith.
Trust in an idea,
Ideal.
Change splashes out
Of it’s solitude.
Burn this mind.
Find the centre.
Jump.
Steph Watson
It’s all so insanely sad.
The whole world
Believes it is eternity.
Protract power,
Lift our pretence
This night,
So blaze creature.
When we all try
To jump the wall.
Aged.
Steph Watson
Concrete figure
Full of dreams.
Of life and death.
Drooping situation
Fragments the thoughts.
Of peace and life.
Pairs of tired relics
Cover up this empty space.
Created by the jokers.
Drown.
Steph Watson
I feel like a thousand oceans.
Heart expands
To trust the depths.
Mind,
Singular to one.
Self.
Careering crazily
Like a metal fish.
Out of control,
Down into ever
Forever, we drown
Here.
To swim up again,
Alone.
Gratitude.1
Steph Watson
From this recess of my heart
I thank you.
Not for anything solid,
Not for anything sordid,
Just for one million things
That I can never put into words.
Gratitude. 2
Steph Watson
With your words
You ease away my sorrow.
With your sorrow
You justify my guilt.
With your intensity
You feel I am drowning.
With your death
You teach me to swim.
I thank you.
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