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The Darkness Within

Caitlyn M. Russell

    The darkness crawled its way along the floor of her cell, grasping at her feet. She could feel it clawing away, forging a path against her flesh till it reached her chest. Its fingers gripped her lungs, squeezing. She gasped, fighting for just one breath of air. One breath of some kind of hope that she can cling too as the darkness clouds her mind.
    “Darkness, release me from this cell,” she said.
    Kass sat against her bedroom wall, head downward cradled in her hands. She could feel all the negative comments creeping in like clouds on a sunny day. How many years had it been? Truthfully, she couldn’t recall.
    There was a knock at the door, but Kass did not respond.
    Don’t answer the door. It isn’t worth it.
    The knock came again, this time with a voice. It was a distant and soothing, like blankets fresh from a drier but concerned one. Kass finally stood, walking over and unlocked it before returning to her previous spot. The door slowly swung open as a boy walked in. Without a single remark, he closed the door gently before joining her in the floor.
    “You weren’t answering your phone again. I was worried,” he said.
    “Oh, I’m sorry, Caleb. It’s justÉ” she said, trailing off. He doesn’t care.
    “One of those days?”
    Kass nodded, squeezing her eyes shut. Her heart ached for the raging flow of mental negativity to stop. The darkness was consuming her just like before. Caleb took note of her behavior, reaching over slowly as his hand gently rested on her shoulder.
    “Hey, fuck off,” Caleb said.
    Is he trying to push me away? Everyone will.
    “Seriously, leave Kass alone,” he said.
    “What?” asked Kass.
    “Oh, I was just telling the darkness to fuck off!”
    She looked up at him, her lips shaking but forming a small smile.
    Caleb grinned, proud of himself in his attempts to bring her toward the light. He moved closer, putting his arm around her.
    “Look, Kass, I know this isn’t easy on you. I just wish there was more I could do. To be honest, I wish I could wave a magical wand and wash it all away,” said Caleb.
    “Caleb, I know you would. You’ve been the most understanding and patient person in my life. No matter what I throw at you—”
    “I always will catch,” Caleb said, interrupting her.
    “I don’t deserve you and you sure as hell don’t deserve to be held back by my problems.”
    “Well, I don’t care what the voices say. I will always love you Kass. You’re my ride or die, my Queen for all eternity. I knew what I signed up for and we will get through this, together.”
    Kass looked at him, her eyes meeting with his. The squeezing began once more, her heartrate accelerating. The darkness circled like a tornado, tearing apart her own sanity. Twisting her mind and heart into a storm of confusion.
    What if he does leave? I always chase everything away.
    “Hey, I’m going to go pull the car around. Asian will cheer you up, even if only a little bit. I bet there will be crab rangoon,” said Caleb, standing up.
    “Yeah, that sounds good. Thank you, Caleb,” Kass said, nodding.
    She watched as he stood, taking his temporary leave. A breath escaped her lips as she cleaned off her face and stood up before making her way to the front door. Kass then paused by a mirror, pulling her hair back and looking long and hard at her own reflection. The face looking back was tired beyond words as she faked a smile.
    “I can feel you there, pulling the strings of my mind and tearing at my broken soul. I just want to be free of you, even if that day won’t come soon,” she said, as the sound of a vehicle honking came from out front.
    With a deep breath, she stepped outside to the warmth of the sun and exhaled.

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