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But These Pleasures

November 1, 1999

there are so many things I have wished for
and most of them were metaphysical
and some of them, like this one,
are all about you
and oh, the ideas I have had about you and I

I know you asked me point blank about this before
and I know I turned it down in your presence
because, well, I had to
and you know, I didn’t have the balls to say it then
but these lurid, cyprian pleasures
I can’t help help but imagine it
or stop imagining
that you could be could be doing this to me

do you know how long I’ve been looking for this?
looking for a spine, a backbone, a man
with some balls, someone who will grab me
and tell me what’s right
and make me do things others are ashamed of
and tell me to do what I really want anyway

I have no idea what you have had in your life
I just want you to be missing something in your life
and I want you to get some temporary satisfaction
in me
because, trust me, i’ll be doing the same


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